How to Help a Child Overcome Sibling Jealousy

For any parent who has more than one child, one of your biggest challenges will most likely be sibling jealousy. It can be enough to make you go insane, with all the fighting and the tears that are shed. So how do you make it better? How do you make each child feel as though she is equally loved and just as special as her siblings? Here are some tips that can can help you answer those questions.

Difficulty:

Moderate

Instructions

1. Sit and talk with your child. While it can get on your last nerve to hear your child constantly make jealous comparisons to his sibling, you need to see and hear past the words coming out of his mouth so you can get to the heart of the problem. Talk to him calmly and ask him why he feels what he is feeling. If he says, "She always gets more attention than I do," don't dismiss it with, "Don't be silly, you get just as much of my time." While what he is saying may not be the reality, it is his reality. Validate how he feels so that he knows you care.

2. Determine what each child's special qualities and talents are. Sometimes sibling jealousy is based one child being the outstanding extrovert who is great at everything and loved by all, while her younger sibling is left to putter around in her shadow. By pointing out all the things your child is good at, you are helping her realize that she doesn't have to be good at all the things her brother or sister is good at.

3. Take an interest in his hobbies. Whether he likes to build volcanoes, keep an ant collection or learn about constellations, begin to take a greater interest in what makes him happy.While ant collections may not win him any notoriety, it makes him happy. And if you begin to take an interest in it, it will also make him feel important. This is the key to helping him overcome his feelings of jealousy.

4. Recognize her for her own achievements. There is always going to be one child whose voice is not heard as often, simply because there are other children in the house all competing for your attention. This can be another underlying cause for sibling jealousy. To combat the feelings that often accompany the unheard voice, try making more of an effort to recognize all of your children for what they have achieved, in school or out. When they see that you are taking notice without having to fight for your attention, feelings of resentment toward their siblings will begin to dissipate a little.

5. Give her a special good night message. Once all the kids have been tucked safely away in their beds, sneak into the child's room who has been having a difficult time. Sit on the edge of her bed, hug her and then look at her and say, "I'm the luckiest mom (or dad) in the whole world because I have you." Nothing, and I mean nothing, will warm your child's heart and make them feel more special than that.