How to Write Your Birth Story

Your birth experience may not have been perfect, but it will always be an important part of your life. Writing a birth story ' even if nobody but you ever gets to read it ' is a wonderful way to work through feelings and preserve memories.

Things You'll Need

• Diaries
• Journals

Instructions

1. Keep a pregnancy journal, or write notes on a calendar as your due date approaches.

2. Decide who you are writing for: yourself? Your family? Posterity? Will this go in your diary? On your Web site? In a baby book?

3. Ask your birth partner or doula to take notes for you on topics such as how long each stage of labor lasts, when you start pushing, and the exact time of birth. You will have lots of other things to think about, especially during the transition.

4. Start with your feelings about the experience when you sit down to write. Did it make you feel drained? Elated? Frightened? Ecstatic? All of the above?

5. Ask your birth partner to write down his version of events ' many dads enjoy reliving this experience and getting it straight in their heads, almost as much as moms do.

6. Write down the best and worst parts of your labor and delivery experience; try to remember as many details as possible, including how you felt in each situation.

7. Compare your actual experience with your original birth plan. How different was it and why? Did complications force things to take an unexpected direction, or did you just make different decisions during labor than you might have beforehand?

8. Write what you want to, not what you think you should. This is your story, and it can be told any way you want to tell it.

Tips & Warnings

• Often, sharing birth stories can help other women deal with their own birthing situations ' it can even help women prepare for childbirth by letting them know what to expect.

• Some women write their birth stories, then seal them and put them away carefully in the hope that they will be able to share them with their own children when they are about to become parents.

• If your story involves grief or loss, take your time ' it may be years before you are ready to write about the experience, but when you do, it may help you to heal.

• If you had a harrowing birth experience, think twice before sharing your scary story with an expectant mom. Or be as positive as possible and offer suggestions to help her avoid the situation you were in.