How to Ignore Parenting Advice

Everyone in the world has parenting advice. Because we all have parents, and were all children at some point, I think there's a natural tendency for people to believe that their childhood experiences warrant them parenting experts. Many parenting magazines are filled with articles by people who have devoted years of their lives to getting advanced degrees so that they can distribute advice for dealing with parenting problems. On one end of the spectrum, we are told to be militant and demand respect. On another end of the spectrum, we're told that we have no worthwhile parenting instincts and that we must "ask a pediatrician" everything under the sun, as if Pediatricians are trained in parenting. Learn how to ignore parenting advice and do things your way.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Pretend that you're listening to what they've said. Repeat the phrases Uh uh and hmmm while they dish out their unsolicited parenting advice. If you make a point of not arguing, they won't feel the need to go on and on trying to convince you of their perspective.

2. Ask them questions about their childhood, in an effort to help them understand why they feel this way. Many people don't question their own beliefs or realize that their opinions are based upon their experiences, not facts. The truth is that while certain parenting practices may or may not be horrible, children are born with their own personalities and may or may not "come out right" regardless of how they're parented. If your experiences and beliefs lead you to raise your kids a certain way, then your parenting advice is just as valid as theirs.

3. Determine if your decisions are having a negative affect upon your children, or if you believe that they could in the future. The fact is, parenting take a very long time. 18 years at the least. A few months spent working outside the home won't kill your children. While there are more nutritive benefits to breastfeeding, failure to nurse your baby doesn't make you a bad mom. Don't let someone else's hangups make you feel naughty. Life is long. You can't possibly be screwing up THAT bad.

4. Keep things in perspective. While someone might have tons of research to convince you that you're a screw up, chances are that there's an equal amount of research to prove just the opposite. When it comes to parenting advice, the best advice is usually to follow your instincts.

Tips & Warnings

• Your parents raised you, and letting them babysit your kid won't make your kids as screwed up as you are. In fact, it will give you the opportunity to discuss these funky parenting methods with your child, and hopefully they'll appreciate you all the more. Start with the words "You're lucky you didn't have MY childhood."
• If you were raised in an abusive home, you might think you have abusive instincts, but it's really just a habit. Learn about nonviolent communication techniques to retrain yourself

Resources

• The Parenting Aspergers Resource Guide For Parents Who Have Children Diagnosed With Aspergers Syndrome
• My Out-of-Control Child. Parenting Children With Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
• Better Behavior Wheel Parenting Tool. Experience The Thrill Of Well Behaved Kids Overnight With This One-Of-A-Kind, Powerful New Parenting Tool. Its Worked For Thousands Of Grateful Parents
• Child Anger Management - For Parents. Learn How To Deal With Your Aggressive Child And Teach Them Anger Management
• Mothering Magazine- Instinctive parenting
• How & why I write 3 articles a day for eHow

[wendys-msw]

on 9/7/2009 Great article! I especially like tip #1. My son recently taught his friend this technique, but with a slight twist. He said (and it wasn't offensive - my dad knows we all do this), "You can easily ignore my grandpa by nodding your head, smiling, and saying uh huh every so often. Eventually he'll stop talking." It was terribly cute, and we all (including my father) got a huge chuckle out of it!

[blaquetweety64]

on 11/14/2008 Re Rate; 5*

[blaquetweety64]

on 11/12/2008 Great article! I started ignoring in the first stages in my childrens life. Than I stopped in the critical stage of their life. I was told I was to hard on my children. I wish I had never stopped. Now it is to late. They are all grown. Making their own mishap with their own children. BRAVO!! 5*