How to Know Which Fork is the Salad Fork and Other Dining Etiquette

In earlier simpler times, Europeans simply drank soup from the bowl and ate meat from bread trenchers with the knife and finger technique. Times have changed and not only have formal table settings evolved to include multiple forks, spoons and knives, but now we have to try and remember which utensil is for what.

Instructions

1. 

   Don't tuck the napkin. Always place the napkin in your lap before eating, don't use it as a bib. And use it. There's never a right way to lick your fingers during formal dining no matter how good the food is.

2. 

   Remember the order. The simplest way to remember which fork goes with which course is to work your way in. On the left, the salad fork is usually the outer most utensil, followed by the dinner or meat fork and tricky hosts will slip a dessert fork nearest the plate sometimes. Spoons and knives are on the right and used the same way, by working your way inwards. If a fish course is to be served first, that may be your outer most fork. Regardless of how many courses are served, just remember to use them in the order of the courses.

3. 

   Don't sweat the dessert. If you have a kind host or hostess at a formal dining event, they will have the dessert silver brought in with the dessert. If not, a third fork nearest the plate on the left side will be for dessert. Check to see if there is a fork or spoon at the top of the place setting above the plate. These are also your dessert utensils.

4. 

   Go lefty. The vast majority of people are right handed and therefore eat with a fork or spoon in their right hand. But, formal dining has found another way to torture the unsuspecting. Forks are used in the left hand and knives are held in the right. One thing you'll notice many right handed people do is cut with the knife in the right hand and then transfer the fork to the right to eat. This is considered acceptable by most people, but not all. Lucky for me, I'm left-handed.

5. 

   Hold the fork handle in your palm with tines down and the back of the fork facing away from you. Gently spear the food and without changing the position of the fork place the food in your mouth. Forks are not for scooping at formal events. Spoons on the other hand are. The only thing to remember when using a spoon is to scoop away from you as you gather soup or food on the spoon.

6. 

   Prepare for the unexpected. We all know it's bad form to put our elbows on the table or make rude noises, but what do you do when you bite into a bone, gristle or inedible piece of fat. Or worse yet, what you have just placed in your mouth is the most repulsive thing you have ever eaten? Well, the Queen might advise you to eat what you are served regardless of taste or texture. Thankfully, we don't have to worry about offending a nation with what we don't like to eat. It's acceptable to discreetly use the fork or spoon to remove the offending food and place it on the edge of your plate.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't start eating until your host does.

Resources

• Table Manners