How to Get Through Meals With Someone Who Has Anorexia Nervosa

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By RA Cologna
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If a family member or roommate has Anorexia Nervosa or another eating disorder, it can be extremely difficult to enjoy your own meal when you are seated next to or near someone visibly disgusted by his or her food.

Several years ago one of my relatives had an eating disorder that became extremely disruptive, and this is the advice our family was given, by a professional counselor. It takes time, but you can also learn how to deal with this challenging and stressful situation during mealtime with those who have eating disorders.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

respect for your rights to enjoy your own meals
an understanding that people with Anorexia or other eating disorders really do have a condition that needs professional help
an open mind to turn to counseling if needed
healthy foods that you enjoy

Step 1

If a loved one, friend or roommate is struggling with an eating disorder, often times those around him or her are affected. Mealtime can be extremely stressful, and can often end in fighting, tantrums and other scenes, just so the person with the eating disorder can have an excuse to leave the room.

If this occurs during your meal time, remember it's perfectly fine for you to continue eating your food.
Step 2

While it is important to be compassionate to those who suffer from Anorexia or Bulimia, it is also critical to remember everyone needs food to survive. Make sure to encourage yourself, or other family members, to enjoy their food during meal times, even if the individual with the eating disorder is disruptive or angry when food is served and eaten.
Step 3

Recognize that sometimes a person with an eating disorder will come up with stories about why he or she can not eat the meal on the table. Comments might include references to bugs in the food, hair in the dish, expired sauces, etc...to dissuade others to eat, and to relieve the obligation to eat as well.

Ignore these comments and partake.
Step 4

Do not adjust your own calorie intake, even if the person with Anorexia or Bulimia is talking about these topics. As difficult as it is to ignore these conversations at the table, do your best to change the subject and continue eating.
Step 5

Always be supportive to others at the table. If you recognize that you are not qualified to assist your friends or family members - especially the person with the eating disorder - by all means, contact a licensed professional therapist or counselor...or an eating disorder specialist. Support groups are available for people living with those afflicted by eating disorders. Anorexia treatment centers can help people of all ages, at various stages of the illness.
Step 6

If you are underage, and your parent or guardian has an eating disorder that is affecting your ability to get enough food for yourself, talk to a responsible adult about this.

Talk to a school nurse, or teacher you trust.
Step 7

Remember it is not your fault if your friend or family member develops an eating disorder. It's not because of something you did. It is not because you are not a good cook. It is not because you don't have more money to buy expensive food. It is an independent condition that needs to be treated with the individual. A professional Anorexia treatment center can help determine causes, influences and courses of treatment for eating disorders.

Comments

purrfect1969-2 said

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on 11/7/2008 Very informative. I imagine this is hard for family and friends to deal with at times, especially at meals.

MotherDove said

on 11/6/2008 My stepson would only eat cheese pizza, macaroni and cheese and bacon - and only the microwave versions! I tried to make these for him from scratch - he wouldn't even try them! I thought he just hated my food (or me!) - I've since come to know that it was his parents divorce that left him emotionally distraught. He's in counseling, he still won't eat my food but now, I don't take it personally. Great article for others dealing with this heartbreaking condition.

jpwriter said

on 11/5/2008 Very well written article on a difficult subject. It's easy to fall into not taking care of ourselves when someone around us is in peril, but this does not help. Thanks for this important article.