Things You'll Need:
- flip-flops
- straight-edge nail clippers
- quick-dry nail polish (clear and colored)
- foot lotion containing lactic acid
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Step 1
Start in the evening. Using straight-edge nail clippers, clip your toenails straight across (one or two 'clips' for your smaller toes; up to three for your big toe). Line up the clips as best you can and you'll be able to achieve a straight line without any need for filing. Clippers are available in any drugstore (Revlon makes good ones). Avoid curved clippers, and resist the urge to trim your nails shorter at the corners: clipping nails too short at the edges can cause nails to become ingrown, an unsightly and painful condition that is impossible to reverse and may necessitate removal of part of the nail. Be sure to trim the nails short enough so that they do not extend beyond the tops of your toes; any longer is tacky.
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Step 2
Slip on your flip flops (Old Navy makes great ones for about $3) and paint one coat of clear, quick-dry nail polish (either Revlon Super Top Speed or Maybelline Express Finish, available at any drugstore) on each toenail. Be sure to paint the whole nail, even the edges. Now go cook dinner or work on your dissertation for 30 minutes. Look at you multi-task! The only point of the clear base coat is to fill in ridges and to prevent discoloration of the nail. If you don't have ridges or don't care about discoloration, feel free to skip this step.
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Step 3
Slap on a coat of quick-dry polish in your favorite color. Bright pink for summer, dark red or purplish-brown for winter, or a true red any time of year. Just be sure the shade you pick doesn't clash with your favorite open-toe shoes. Avoid anything with shimmer or sparkle. Now, with your flip-flops still on, go spend an hour doing laundry or managing your 401k while the polish dries. If you managed to polish right up to the edge of the nail without going outside the lines, congratulations, you're done! (Unless your polish is not yet opaque; in that case, add another coat and wait another 30 minutes.) But if you're like most of us, move on to Step 4.
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Step 4
Take a shower (you would have done that at some point anyway, right?) and the extra polish will magically come off! If not, give it a little help with a loofah or shower sponge. Look down at your toes: don't they look fabulous?! Nice work! If you need to display your pedicure before your next shower, you can use a Q-tip dipped in nail polish remover to remove the excess polish instead.
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Step 5
Before going to bed, slather on some foot lotion containing lactic acid. Lactic acid is the best ingredient for getting rid of dry skin, and it's way easier than pumice stones, foot files, or other time-consuming and labor-intensive methods. Try AmLactin (12% lactic acid), which is available on drugstores, or Soul Owner by Philosphy. Apply nightly until your feet are super-smooth.
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Step 6
Your pedicure should last until your nails start to grow out unless your shoes or too tight or you spend a lot of time at the beach. Either way, you can maintain it by touching up any rubbed-off spots with an extra bit of colored polish and by freshening it up with an extra coat of clear polish every once in a while. When your nails grow (or you get sick of the color), remove the polish with cotton balls and nail polish remover and start again at Step 1.
