How to Maintain a Healthy Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationships are often considered impossible and doomed for failure. This is not true. It does take commitment and effort to maintain any relationship so a long distance relationship is no different. They do require more effort and thoughtfulness and most importantly, an ability to communicate openly and honestly which some folks have a rough time doing. Here are some ways to maintain a healthy long distance relationship.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. From the beginning of your long distance relationship it is very important to set clear boundaries about the relationship. This is an ongoing task during the relationship and should be adjusted as necessary. Boundaries are important in any relationship but become even more important in distance. Some people have a hard time believing that two people can be monogamous when they are away from one another, but it's possible if that's a boundary you want in your relationship.

2. To maintain a healthy long distance relationship you have to trust in your partner. A long distance relationship will be extremely hard to maintain if you or your partner is the jealous type. If you are someone who needs to have constant contact with your partner a long distance relationship may not work for you. It takes a lot of trust to be in distance, so be honest with yourself about your ability to love far away.

3. Have willingness to work on the issues that arise from being in a long distance relationship. Any relationship tends to bring forth wounds that have carried on from childhood, past relationships, friendships, and your lifestyle.

4. Maintaining a long distance relationship requires communication. It is very helpful to set up a regular schedule for communicating as this will help you feel close to your partner even if he or she is far away. With the advent of technology it is much easier to accomplish this, and you can use cell phones, computers, email, and even talk for free over a web cam.

5. Small things become even more important when you are in a long distance relationship. Sending cards, special gifts, remembering anniversaries and special events, are all very important. If you are in a different time zone figure out the time differences and leave special messages.

6. Learn to be open with your partner as your needs change. As people change and grow, and relationships unfold the needs may change so be willing to revisit previously set boundaries and agreements.

7. Plan ahead the times when you will be able to see each other again. If you have a significant distance you will need to save money and put in a lot of planning effort, but if the person is worth it then find a way to make it happen. Be very honest with yourself about whether or not you are able to continue the relationship in distance.

8. Love him or her no matter the distance between you.

Tips & Warnings

• don't let others discourage your relationship
• most of these ideas work for any relationship
• don't give up
• no matter the distance if the relationship is unhealthy or not working out then move on

Resources

• How to communicate clearly.
• How to set boundaries.
• How to develop relationships after trauma.

[slphilbrick]

on 11/2/2008 My daughter is in an LD relationship and these would be great words of wisdom to share with her. Thank you ! 5*

[deepthinkin]

on 11/1/2008 As someone who is in a LD relationship - I would like to add that the occasional IM session with a webcam is extremely helpful in maintaining strong love lines. Thanks!

[princessg]

on 11/1/2008 Great ideas

[princessg]

on 11/1/2008 Great ideas