How to Teach a Child to Let Go of Perfectionism

As parents are pushing their kids to achieve more and more, the pressure to excel is becoming a societal norm. Yet raising a child who thrives on perfectionism can have its drawbacks. Your child may be a slave to success and suffer a lifetime of disappointments because events didn't work out the way he planned. Teaching a kid to let go of perfectionism may be difficult, but the tips in this article will give you a solid start.

Instructions

1. Make your own behavior a model. Don't over-criticize yourself in front of your child. Don't let her hear or see you denigrating your efforts and downplaying the results. Otherwise, she will see how unreasonably high you set your expectations and apply that same level of criticism to herself.

2. Refrain from criticizing your child's work if the result is not what he was striving for. Instead, compliment his efforts and ask him how he feels about the outcome. Ask him what he would do differently the next time.

3. Empathize with your child's challenges. Offer her words of support, such as "That task seems really tough." When a child hears these words from you, she will know she is up against a tough challenge, and that if she fails, it won't automatically be her fault.

4. Never say, "I told you so." If your child puts off studying for a test and does poorly, refrain from telling him what he already knows. Instead, ask him, "What do you think you could do differently to get a better result on the next test?" This gives the child the ability to analyze and correct his own behavior.

5. Offer your child help in solving tough problems. But don't perform the task for her; instead, offer your help in learning the methodology involved or developing better skills of organization.

Tips & Warnings

• Consult with a child psychologist if you are concerned that perfectionism has a hold on your child. If the child is constrained by perfectionism, he will be fixated on achieving perfect results instead of improving his efforts and methods.