How to Set Privacy Guidelines for Children

One of the most difficult tasks that you may face as a parent, is teaching your children the importance of personal privacy at home and the concept of proper and improper behavior related to privacy. Young children often want to follow parents into the bathroom or bedroom, and may even want to take a bath or shower with you. There also needs to be privacy guidelines for ensuring that older children have some alone time, which can be difficult to arrange if more than one child has to share a bedroom. Here are some suggestions on how to teach your children the importance of personal privacy and modesty.

Instructions

1. When you are preparing to get dressed in the mornings, have your children leave the bedroom, bathroom or dressing room, before disrobing. Explain to them that your body is private and that it is not proper for them to watch you disrobe, especially if your child is not the same sex as you. Also tell your children that they should dress alone in their rooms or in the bathroom as well.

2. As you are getting ready to shower or bathe, explain to your children that, as an adult, your body is different from theirs, and that you would prefer to be alone to clean your body and wash your hair. Tell them that you would be embarrassed if they were to see you without clothing. This way you will be nurturing the idea in your child's mind that there is the need for modesty and privacy at certain times.

3. Tell your children, if they are four and under, that you need to be in the bathroom to help with their bathing so that you can make sure that they do not fall and hurt their heads or drown while in the tub or shower. Give your toddler or preschooler a wash cloth or hand towel to cover their lower body so that you cannot see them if they do not want you to look. You will know that your lessons on modesty and personal privacy are being taken seriously.

4. Try and encourage your spouse, or an older sibling to help with toilet training your toddler Explain to your children that it is OK for dads and brothers, or moms and sisters, to go to the restroom together as their bodies are alike for the most part. You can toilet train your toddler alone, if you are a single parent or there are no siblings in the family.

5. Do not let your children walk around the house in front of other family members or their friends wearing only underwear, or displaying nudity. Tell your children that doing so is improper and they should always wear pajamas, a gown and a robe to cover their underwear.

6. Talk to your children, beginning as toddlers about 'good and bad touching.' Emphasize the importance of keeping the trunk and pelvic areas of their body covered. Explain to them that, in addition to exhibiting modesty, using personal privacy will help keep them safe.

7. Inform your older adolescents and teens that you expect them to act with decorum and modesty in front of each other, in front of you and other family members, and in front of peers of the opposite sex for their own safety and because that is proper behavior.

8. When teaching your children about personal privacy and determining the guidelines you want them to follow, also teach your children to make sure that their room blinds are closed and that they are not standing in front of the windows when showering, dressing or undressing. Explain to them that this part of modesty and privacy and something they need to do to be safe.

9. Tell adolescent or teen siblings of the same sex that it is OK if they should choose not to dress in front of each other, and offer the suggestion that they take turns dressing if they share a bedroom. You might also make the suggestion that one sibling could dress or undress in the bathroom with the other dressing or undressing in the bedroom.

10. Do not walk around the house in your underwear or other lingerie, or in the nude, where your children can see you. You cannot successfully set rules for personal privacy and have an expectation for your children to behave with modesty if you do not follow those guidelines as well.

11. Always lock the bathroom door behind you, so that your children do not walk in unannounced. Set the same guidelines for your daughters in order to save everyone embarrassment and to keep from having to answer questions that any younger children could pose and that they are not yet ready to be confronted with.

Tips & Warnings

• By teaching your children about modesty, the importance of personal privacy, and decorum (beginning in the home), you are helping them remain safe as well as preparing them to behave in a proper manner in their private lives.

• Teaching children about modesty, decorum, and setting guidelines (beginning in the home) for personal privacy is very important, especially with sexual predators and pedophiles who are always looking for children of all ages to victimize. Teach your children that even if they close their room, or bathroom blinds and curtains, they should not stand in front of the windows to undress or dress. Any light in the room could cause their body and their movements to cast a shadow that could possibly be seen by someone walking or driving by outside, thus endangering their safety.

Resources

• eHow article "How to Help Keep Kids Safe From Abuduction or Assault"