Taking Care of an Elderly Parent

Suddenly old and alone

All our lives we have looked up to and relied on our parents for guidance. We reached out to them for financial, and emotional help both in our growing up years to the present. When the day comes that our aged parent can no longer function alone, the roles become reversed-and parent becomes the child-left at the mercy of their children.

Things You'll Need

• Financial power of attorney Living will Medical power of attorney Durable power of attorney Access to safe deposit box

Instructions

1. 

   Understand that while an aged parent might live alone, still able to care for herself, she may need help and feel embarrassed to ask. Suggest areas needing cleaning or repair. Phone or visit often, send or buy little gifts, be patient and understanding with their complaints, and offer compassion and your undivided attention. Keep in mind that one day this will be you and treat them as you would want to be treated.

2. Know that grown grandchildren could shoulder some of the responsibility by visiting or helping with the more difficult tasks.

3. 

   Care for an elderly parent-no longer able to live alone-by inviting and welcoming her to move in with you. Make her feel welcome and needed, instead of sounding as if she will be a burden. Never show impatience, or complain about her, in front of the children, Display only love, concern and respect for the aged parent who now needs our help, when once we needed hers.

4. 

   Assign a important task for her be responsible for. Perhaps she can be in charge of making dinner a few nights a week, if you all work. It will make her feel as if she is important and necessary, instead of being a burden.

5. 

   Set aside a special room or area in the home that will be her special retreat. Add a TV set and a corner reading area that she can enjoy when feeling overwhelmed by the household noise. Allow her to feel that this is her own private space, and never enter without knocking.

6. Allow her to care for her personal grooming, but assist with bathing or personal care when needed. Make a weekly appointment at the local beauty parlor to have a wash,cut, style, color, manicure and pedicure. Looking good will go along way in making your elderly parent feel as good as she looks.

7. 

   Understand that care for an elderly parent might go a step further, when they no longer are able to make decisions. They might lose their bearings, or the ability to care for their finances, or their health. At this time you might find you have to make the decisions for her.

8. Hire an attorney and go to court to gain Power of Attorney. In many areas this grants you the ability to make important decisions. This might be the most difficult thing you might ever have to do in your lifetime-where your mother is now the child while become the mother-in charge of making the decisions for her.

Tips & Warnings

• Prior to inviting an aged parent to live in your home, make sure you have discussed this with your entire family and that they all agree. Another alternative to having an aged parent or parents live with you and your family is Assisted Living Housing. If you have siblings, it might be good for all, if you all take turns having ''the aged parent'' visit them on a regular schedule. If finances are a problem, see if other members of the family can help with costs. Never make the aged parent feel like a burden to the family, never let them hear you discuss them with others. Always make them feel loved and welcome.