How to Use Natural Parenting Techniques

There is a plethora of parenting styles out there, and it can be confusing to decide whose advice to follow. One fairly new philosophy is natural parenting, which emphasizes using your child's temperament and personality, along with the natural setting of home and community, when setting or adapting rules and expectations for everything from behavior to chores.

Instructions

1. Experiment with assigning chores for your child based on his likes and dislikes. You might give one child the chore of sweeping the porch or steps, taking out the trash, etc. if he likes spending a lot of time outdoors, or the task of sweeping and wiping down the tables and the kitchen counter top if he likes to keep busy and enjoys having a rag in his hand, etc.

2. Model the manners, actions and values you want your child to learn in the home and community environment as it is natural for her to want to follow your lead. Try and avoid using threats or yelling when your child does something wrong, since she will probably begin to mimic your voice level and language, as well.

3. When admonishing your child for failing to complete an assigned task like schoolwork or chores, think before you speak so that you avoid sounding too harsh. Try using positive re-enforcement for your child with phrases like,"I see you forgot to do your chores, but since you usually do what your are asked, I will give you some extra time."

4. Talk to your child when you sit down for meals about manners. Try saying something like, "those children are so polite and well mannered. They are probably proud of themselves, don't you agree?" And then, "your manners are very good also." You will be opening a dialogue with your child and teaching her, as well.

5. Using a conversational tone, remind your child, if he has a tendency to behave differently away from home, that it would be natural for other people to think badly of him for poor behavior or if he were to exhibit poor language or manners.

6. Illustrate the importance of good behavior and manners to your child in a natural way, pointing out other children, or even adults, who are exhibiting poor behaviors and manners when you are out in public. As a way to re-enforce your teachings ask your child how she thinks their behavior looks to others, and what does she think about those poor behaviors?

7. Do not use the admonishment "Do as I say not as I do" because that philosophy never works. Illustrate the bahaviors and manners you want your child to learn since you are his primary teacher, and he will more than likely pick up on the negative aspects of your behavior or manners over the manners or behaviors of other people.

Tips & Warnings

• Everything your child sees at home or in the community constitutes a natural setting. Using the tools at your command like knowledge of your child's personality and temperament, their likes and dislikes, and what you want them to learn outside of school will allow you to parent in a more relaxed, more natural, and less angry way.