How to Heal a Family Feud

The greater part of our lives is spent with our families. Unfortunately, every family has problems and disagreements occur. Although there is no easy way to end these painful feuds, it's important to move past the pain, change your attitude, let go of grudges and focus on forgiveness.

Instructions

1. Pinpoint the problem. Were you in a bad mood and took out your frustrations on a family member? What caused the argument to start with? Perhaps you didn't agree with the other person's point of view. Respect that people are entitled to their views, and work on changing your attitude. As long as you believe that you were right and the other person wrong, your family feud will never be resolved.

2. Devote your energy to making amends. Let go of the anger and resentment you may feel. Focus on the present rather than the past, and forgive. When you are able to do this, you'll release a very heavy burden.

3. Make the phone call. Invite your family member to lunch or dinner. While you may feel a little uncomfortable at first, it's a step toward the healing process. If you don't try to communicate, the situation will never change.

4. Drop a note to the family member you argued with if your efforts don't work and phone calls are not returned. Let him know you are thinking of him and that you would like to work together to mend the relationship. Don't mention anything of the misunderstanding but let him know you miss him.

5. Work constructively with your emotions. It really doesn't matter who was right or wrong. Accept that you cannot change what happened. Learn from it. Release the past. Look ahead. Keep in mind that other family members will also be affected by the feud, especially if you stopped attending family gatherings during holidays. Your goal is to resolve the disagreement and encourage healing.