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Step 1
Contact your former friend. If you have not seen or spoken to each other in awhile, this can be difficult or uncomfortable. Although writing a letter or sending an email may be easier, consider speaking with your friend directly. Words can be misread or misinterpreted, leaving the reader uncertain about the tone of your words. Speaking on the phone allows the listener to hear the emotion in your voice. A face to face conversation is ideal since this allows your former friend to see the emotion on your face as well.
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Step 2
Address the reasons that caused your friendship to end. This does not mean rehash the past. Discuss how the ending of your friendship made you feel. Explain why you want to patch things up now. In other words, what's changed? Has the passage of time made you miss your friend or was there a specific incident that led you to reconnect with this person?
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Step 3
Forgive and offer forgiveness. If you were at fault, offer a sincere apology. Explain why you did not offer one then and what happened to cause you to apologize now. Do you feel responsible for how your relationship ended or do you regret that it ended at all? If your friend was at fault, accept the apology graciously. Consider how difficult owning up to what happened must be and listen to what this person has to say without interrupting.
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Step 4
Catch up. Talk about what has happened in your life after the friendship ended until now. Find out what your former friend has been up to also. When a lot of time has passed, significant changes in your lives may have occurred. It can be difficult listening to the experiences that your friend went through without you. So, if you find yourself in that predicament, tell your friend that you wish you had been there.
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Step 5
Discuss what expectations you have for your friendship going forward. For instance, what is your availability? Changes in marital status or employment might make you more or less available than you once were. Talk about how much time are you able and willing to give to this relationship. Discuss whether your interests have changed and whether you still like to do the same things in your free time.
