How to Train Children to Behave Well in the Grocery Store

It isn't difficult to train children to behave well at the grocery store. Well-behaved children make grocery shopping easy and enjoyable. After some initial training, even young preschoolers can be expected to behave well in any store. These methods are tried and true ways to teach a child to behave in the grocery store, or any other store, at all times. Gone will be the tantrums, crying, running down the aisles, and demands for candy.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. ENLISTED THE HELP OF ANOTHER ADULT -- When you want to train children to behave well in the grocery store, it is important to go shopping with another adult. Let your children, even children as young as two, know your expectations for their behavior. If they misbehave in the store, warn them once. If they misbehave a second time, your adult help should take them out of the store immediately to wait in the car until you are done shopping.

2. MAKE THE CAR BORING -- When your adult helper takes the child to the car, waiting should be as boring as possible. Do not allow the child to watch TV, listen to music, read, play with toys, or do anything else enjoyable. They should be strapped into their carseat, waiting.

3. ONE WARNING ONLY -- Never warn a child more than once. Ask for good behavior and expect obedience. Threatening, or warning, a child multiple times teaches them that you will let them get away with misbehavior. This is probably one of the most important steps to train children to behave well in the grocery store.

4. TIME OUT -- Once a child has learned to behave well enough to not be sent to the car on a regular bases, you can begin shopping without an adult helper. If the child misbehaves, consider placing them in a corner for a short time. Any corner like place will work. After a minute or two, you should be able to continue shopping with a well-behaved child.

5. REWARD RANDOMLY -- Randomly reward well-behaved children with a small reward such as a candy. Rewarding on a random basis will train children to behave well in the grocery store because it keeps them guessing; they'll never know if this is the shopping trip that they will earn a reward. The reward should come at the end of the shopping trip and not be announced ahead of time. Be sure to tell the children that they are being rewarded for good behavior while you shopped. Reward only well-behaved children; children that had to be taken to the store or put in the corner should not be rewarded, even if they behaved perfectly afterwards.

6. BRIBE, BUT RARELY -- If you are feeling particularly anxious to get through a specific shopping trip without incidence, offer the children a small treat or reward if they behave throughout the trip. NEVER fail to follow through on your promise or you'll lose credibility with your children and it won't work next time. Again, only reward children who were well-behaved. Explain to children not receiving their reward exactly why they didn't earn it.

7. PRAISE GOOD BEHAVIOR -- Always praise the children when they behave well even if you are not offering a random reward at that time. Be sure to let the children tell the checker, their father, a family friend, how well-behaved they are and how proud of them you are. It feels good to be praised. The other person is likely to praise them as well and a checker might give them a small reward, such as a sticker. Praise is often an effective way to train children to behave well in the grocery store.

8. LET YOUR NO STAND -- Never change your mind after you've said, "No." Telling a child that they can't have something they've asked for and giving in when they badger you is the best way to ensure future misbehavior and tantrums.

9. CONSISTENCY -- Be consistent with your expectations and discipline. Lack of consistency will confuse the child and they won't know when they have to behave and when it is okay to misbehave.

Tips & Warnings

• Be patient with younger children. With time, they will learn to behave in the store every time without needing to be taken to the car store.
• Quietly discipline your children when they need it, even in public.
• Keep calm when dealing with misbehaving children.
• Don't yell or spank your children. Yelling and spanking will increase their tantrum and crying and call embarrassing attention to yourself.

Resources

• The Discipline Book
• The No-Cry Discipline Solution: Gentle Ways to Encourage Good Behavior Without Whining, Tantrums, and Tears

[JoyNmyHeart]

on 5/27/2009 Sounds like a great tip not just for the grocery store but a restraunt or any other public place. Thanks!

[budgetmom]

on 5/27/2009 Excellent tips. There have been a few times when my husband had to take my son out to the car and it really does work. I also agree about not giving in after saying no. Children then feel that they can be rewarded for unacceptable behavior.

[misssuzi]

on 5/27/2009 Excellent advice! I wholeheartedly agree with all your recommendations! :) 5*

[Upon-Request]

on 12/26/2008 Great parenting tips - especially STEP 1! Usually you only have to remove a child once or twice before they realize you're serious. Thanks for writing this article. :)

[smilesatme1]

on 11/9/2008 This is very helpful for parents who will bring all their dozens kids on shopping. Thank you