How to Deal With Conflict

Let's face it: Conflict happens. Whether you are in the workplace, at school or with a group of friends, conflict and drama can happen. This list will help you deal with the conflict that arises, and to move on without taking it personally. After all, things happen, and you have to move past them and be happy with yourself.

Instructions

1. Be honest with yourself, and accept that not everyone is going to like everyone. Since people have different personalities, personality clashes are bound to happen. So, you need to take a step back from conflict that arises and say to yourself:
   "Not everyone has to like me. Not everyone has to like the people I like. What matters is that I like who I am, and I am comfortable with the way I am acting."

2. Know that not all conflict is bad, and figure out how to differentiate good conflict from bad conflict. For example, Coworker A and Coworker B may disagree on a project. Therefore, they may face conflict, but handle it in a healthy way by talking it out and coming to a mutual decision. However, unhealthy conflict occurs when malicious intent is involved and one person is out to hurt another.

3. If you want to try to fix conflict that occurs, try to figure out the root of the problem. Is there a particular issue that you, or that two other people involved in the conflict, are clashing on? If you feel up to the challenge, talk about the topic so you can get past it. Or, if it involves two of your friends in conflict, ask them to talk it out, and you can act as a mediator.

4. If you think the conflict can not be resolved, then let it be. If you and someone else just can't get along, then simply speak only when necessary, and only on topics that you need to speak about. Pressing communication further may only fuel the conflict.

5. Face the fact that you can't avoid someone forever, especially if you are co-workers or part of a circle of friends. In this case, try to make the best of it! Try to put this person out of your mind. Yes, they will be present, but you can let anything negative that they say roll right off of your back. Even if it hurts, just pretend you didn't hear what the person said, and keep having fun. Hopefully, in time, ignoring the person's words will come naturally and you will no longer care what hurtful things this person says.

6. In a friendship situation, if two friends are in conflict and it bothers you, let them know. If they are truly your friends, they'll keep the hurtful comments about each other to themselves, instead of broadcasting them around you and putting you in an awkward situation.

7. If conflict happens at work, and involves inappropriate actions or statements, speak with your supervisor or human resources. Naturally, conflict can happen, and interoffice conflict over small things can be handled appropriately. However, constant conflict that is based on malicious content is not OK.

References

• HelpGuide.org: Conflict Resolution Skills