How to Discourage Political Yard Sign Theft

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By allencox
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Discourage Political Yard Sign Theft

Yes, once again the American election cycle is nearing its close. I have repeatedly fallen victim to yard sign thieves, and I decided to do something about it. Now you can too!

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

A political yard sign for your candidate of choice
A tub of petroleum jelly
A bottle of Tabasco Sauce
A spray bottle of deer repellent (the stinky variety made from garlic and dried blood works well)

Step 1

Place your yard sign on a flat surface, back side up.
Step 2

With a butter or spackle knife, spread a thick layer of petroleum jelly all over the back of the sign. Sprinkle very liberally with Tabasco Sauce, and with the knife spread the sauce into the petroleum until you have a messy brown goop covering the back of the sign.
Step 3

Put the sign in your yard so the front is visible from the street, and the back is hidden. Liberally spray the front and back of sign with a very stinky deer repellent product, usually available at well-stocked hardware stores that sell gardening supplies.
Step 4

When anyone tries to grab your sign, they won't know what they put their hand in. The Tabasco will irritate the skin and the petroleum jelly makes a mess on whatever comes in contact with it. The smell is just to confuse them.