How to End a Bad Friendship

Maybe it's distance, maybe it's growing up or maybe it's something else entirely, but sometimes friendships just grow apart. There's no reason to hang on to a friendship when you have nothing in common and not much you enjoy about each other. Would you stay with a terrible significant other just because you have some history? Probably not. Sometimes, the old Girl Scout song "Make new friends, but keep the old ..." just doesn't stand up in everyday life.

Instructions

1. Examine the situation before you do anything. Is this a friendship that has truly ended, or is it just in a lull? Will there be awkwardness in future social situations if you definitively end all contact? Does your friend have a reason that can be resolved for being distant, angry or sad? If you have a chance or reason to save your friendship, or at least keep contact, consider approaching the situation with a less drastic approach than ending the friendship. After all, once you end a bad friendship, there's not too much of a chance of salvaging it or restoring it.

2. Determine why you want to end the friendship. Make a list of reasons why you think this is no longer a positive relationship.

3. Make a similar list detailing the positives in your relationship. This will be as important as the list of negatives when you finally discuss the situation with your friend.

4. Arrange a time to meet with your friend. Ideally, this isn't something to do over the phone, but if half of the problem in the friendship is that the other person is always too busy for you, you can make an exception; just make sure that both of you have adequate time to talk out the situation.

5. Explain to your friend how you feel. Go through the entries on both of your lists, starting with the positives. For the good of both of you, begin the conversation as a type of negotiation. If both parties are willing to make changes in the friendship, maybe it is worth saving. A conversation about both positives and negatives will fully bring out both of your emotions and viewpoints. If a compromise is achieved, great! However, be vigilant in keeping up with issues that bother you, so you don't need this advice again. If you cannot reach a compromise or the conversation deteriorates, proceed to Step 6.

6. Explain to your friend that you believe this friendship has come to an end. Reiterate the fact that you care about him, but that you feel it's only fair to value both of your time more highly by ending the time you spend together.

7. Listen to her point of view. This shouldn't be an argument but a resolution.

8. Reiterate your viewpoint. If he doesn't understand, you can take this time to simply wish him the best of luck and excuse yourself. However, if it seems like an amicable split, then shake hands or give a hug and go your own way.

9. If friends and family ask about the situation, explain it in nothing but neutral or positive tones. Maturity is key in this situation. Without it, ending a friendship can easily morph into starting an argument.

Tips & Warnings

• If at any point the conversation dissolves into argument or aggression, you can certainly leave or hang up the phone. This is supposed to be about closure, not fighting.