How to Give Children Time Outs

Children need discipline. Give children timeouts if spanking is out--these let children know they have done something wrong. But unlike spankings, timeouts don’t cause children to fear their parents. But unless effectively used, timeouts won’t mean a thing to your children. Here's how.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Child
• Timeout area
• Timeout chair, stool or bench
• Timer

1. The age of the child should determine the amount of time the child stays in timeout. Small children have very short attention spans and cannot be contained for too long. They need to remember why they were placed in time out in the first place. Use one minute per age of the child.

2. Parents must choose their battles wisely if they want timeouts to be taken seriously by their children. Use timeouts for things like biting, hitting, yelling, calling names, not listening and breaking things. Do not use timeouts because you no longer want to hear your child sing her happy song, or because your child does not want to eat his peas when you know he’s never liked them.

3. Timeouts work more effectively when there are not a lot of distractions to keep your children occupied. Use a special chair, bean bag, stool or corner for your timeout area. Keep all toys, breakables, and other items your children can get their hands on out of reach and out of sight. Avoid placing your children near an open window or a room where they can watch television, listen to the radio or observe other children playing.

4. As angry as you may feel, your children may not understand what they are being put in timeout for. As you walk your child to the timeout area, explain why he is being placed there. In a calm voice, explain what behavior was bad and why. Then explain what is going to happen. Tell your children that he will be placed in timeout for a certain amount of minutes. He’s not to move, nor touch anything, sing, dance nor play. Tell him that if he can do that for those few minutes, you will come back and release him.

5. A timer with a loud bell is the perfect way to let your child know when the timeout is over.

6. Follow up with reassurance. When the timer goes off, walk over to your child, bend down, and give him a hug. Tell him that you forgive his behavior. Reassure him that you still love and like him. Ask him if he remembers why he was in time out and discuss what can be done so that he doesn’t end up there again.

Tips & Warnings

• If your child gets up and walks away from the timeout area, set him back into the timeout area. Regardless of how many attempts it takes to get him seated, do not start the timer until he is actually sitting in the timeout area.
• Never use a closet as a timeout area.

Resources

• Time Out Chairs