How to Be More Patient With a Spouse

People are not always going to act the way you think they should or be without flaws, and your spouse is certainly no exception. When you live with someone day after day, that person’s once charming quirks and habits can start driving you batty. However, when you stop to take a good, long look at your own tendencies and eccentricities, you are probably grateful they put up with you. Learning to become more patient with your husband or wife will make your marriage happier and stronger.

Instructions

1. Bite your tongue! The next time you are about to be short with your spouse or utter nagging or unkind words, stop and count to five (or 10). If you still feel that something needs to be said at all, say it in a loving and productive manner.

2. Consider your spouse's motives the next time he or she does something that gets on your nerves. Chances are, whatever the words or action, it was not intended to annoy or anger you.

3. Be aware of the things your partner does every day that you find endearing, helpful or humorous. By becoming more conscious of the things that make you love your spouse, you will naturally become less impatient with him or her.

4. Check your expectations. Do you expect your spouse to meet goals that no other mortal could attain? While it is great to have confidence in your partner and think he or she can achieve ambitions no one else can, do not set your spouse up for failure by setting unrealistic expectations and then grow impatient when your ideal is not met.

5. List the things your spouse does that make you impatient. Are any of them habits he or she would like to change about himself or herself? Come up with some healthy, loving, positive ways to help your partner make the change. Are any of these traits harmful to you, your spouse or others? Seek professional help in dealing with them. The remainder of the list will likely be trivial items. Accept that these behaviors make your spouse who he or she is, admit that you wouldn't want anyone else, and let go.

Tips & Warnings

• Keep a snapshot of your spouse as a child in your wallet or on your dresser. Remembering that he or she was once an innocent child might help you be more patient.

• If your impatience causes you to erupt in angry outbursts or physical violence, seek help immediately.

Resources

• Anger Help