How to Mourn Like a Victorian
The Victorians had rules that covered every aspect of mourning. When someone died, they knew how they had to dress and for how long, with different time increments according to a person’s relationship to the deceased. They made mementos to help them recall their loved ones, and they engaged the services of a photographer to capture their loved ones in death so they would not be forgotten. The Victorians even followed a set of superstitions concerning the proper way to remove the deceased from the house, and to ensure no one else in the family would follow him to the grave.
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Things You'll Need
- Black crepe or other black material
- Strip of white cloth or ribbon
- Black-bordered stationery
- Coffin alarm
Instructions
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Remove the deceased from the home feet first. If the body goes through the doorway head first, “it could look back and beckon others to follow it into death,” according to the Camden County Historical Society in New Jersey.
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Find all the clocks in the house where a person has died and stop them at the hour of his death.
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Drape all mirrors in the house with black material, so the reflective surface cannot be seen.
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Drape the front door with black crepe, which may be gathered by a white strip of cloth.
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Weave or braid a length of the deceased's hair, then incorporate it into a piece of jewelry, such as a brooch, a ring or even a watch chain.
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Write all letters or other correspondence (except for business-related missives) on paper that is decorated only by a black border.
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Wear black mourning clothes. A widow must dress entirely in black wool and wear a black crepe veil for 1 year. The following year, she is allowed to wear a shorter veil and adorn her gown with black trimmings, such as lace. During the final 6 months of her mourning period, which can extend to 5 years, she may wear lavender or gray. The switch to these colors signals the change to “half-mourning.”
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Tips & Warnings
Traditionally, the mourning period is 2 years for a spouse, 1 year for a child or parent and 6 months for a brother, sister or grandparent.
Men may wear their normal clothing, but they must add black accessories, such as gloves.
Forgo social activities during mourning.
Order a “coffin alarm” to be buried with the casket, to avoid the person being buried alive. Many Victorians worried about finding themselves in this situation. If they were, a pull cord on the alarm inside the coffin would ring a bell above ground.
