How to talk to your teenage son/daughter about sex.

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By drb1966
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Article Rating: (5 Ratings)

As parents there are certain milestones we must face at some point. Their first words, their first steps, first day of school, their first heart throb and their first heartbreak. Talking about sex with your teenage son/daughter is not something to be placed on the back burner. Here is how I broke the ice and had 'The Talk'.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

A teenager
A comfortable setting

Step 1

Set yourself a goal, a day where you can arrange for the two of you to be together. Keep it relaxed and very flexible. Go shopping, treat him/her to some new clothes or video game. Take him/her to lunch let him choose where to eat. During the day bring up the subject of dating. Relay stories from your teenage years without out going into to much detail, talk about your first love, your first heartbreak.
Step 2

Get a sense of your son/daughters comfort level. If he/she continues to change the subject, don't fight it. Remember this is an embarrassing topic for your teen when he/she is in front of his/her parents. But don't be fooled teens today are very aware of sex. It is on tv, in video games and is advertised everywhere although subtle. Feel out the time and when you sense that his/her comfort level is approachable simply ask the straight forward question. Have ever thought about having sex? Chances are the quick response will be a shy or uncomfortable laugh...no. Reassure him/her that it is only natural for guys/girls his age to think about it. Refer back to how you felt embarrassed at his/her age talking about it with your parents or whatever your experience was for you.
Step 3

Pay close attention to how your son/daughter is receiving this conversation. You may need to back off and drop it for the day. If that is the case then make sure to plan another outing or time to approach the subject again. I found that as opposed to having one long drawn conversation it is better to have many smaller ones. The comfort level with your son/daughter will begin to change as he/she feels more comfortable with you and the topic of sex.
Step 4

As a parent it is up to you to choose how you view the teenage years and sex. I have told my son and daughter that although I would prefer that they wait and that they should not be pressured by their friends, the reality is he or she will have sex at some time and it is important to know that they can rely on you as a parent to turn to for advice. Build that relationahip of trust. Make sure you reinforce the importance of protection from disease and pregnancy. The lack of support now for your teenage son/daughter could be the difference in the consequences of the rest of their life. Just saying 'NO' or 'Don't have sex' is like placing the cookie jar on top of the cabinet and saying don't get into that jar. And not telling them what would happen if they did.

Comments

lisabug4809 said

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on 10/25/2008 Wow, that is really an awesome article, I really liked it alot; you are right with something like that you'd have to ease your way into that conversation and see how they are reacting to it! Sounds like you have experience and very helpful tips! Five stars for sure!