How to Understand Vampires

Vampires Are People Too

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By GeoffreyMe
eHow Community Member

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(6 Ratings)

Movies and Gothic novels have done a great disservice when it comes to appreciating the misunderstood "vampire."

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

An open mind
Compassion

Step 1

Forget What You've Heard About Evil "Bloodsuckers" - Hematophagy (HEE-mah-TOH-fuh-jee, literally "blood eating") is far from unique in the animal kingdom. Blood is a "ready to eat" fluid rich in essential proteins and various other nutrients and is the main source of food for a variety of creatures from insects to worms to fish and, yes, even to mammals. It's not evil it's simply biology.
Step 2

Forget What You've Heard About "Undead Monsters" - Vampire bats are not undead, mosquitoes are not undead and neither are lampreys or leeches. Creatures that survive on a liquid protein diet are not inherently evil. No, not even hematophagous humans (sometimes called "hemo sapiens"). And they don't have fangs for another thing, but sharp incisors that they use to shave away the epidermis to gain access to their food supply. For this reason they tend to feed at night and choose sleeping targets with thick hides such as large herbivores. As a result they may have pale skin, but the sun certainly doesn't kill them and you can't "bless" them away with Holy artifacts or prayers any more than they can fly or need coffins to sleep in.
Step 3

Try To Be Understanding - "Vampirism" isn't weird and it's not contagious either. It's merely a genetic anomaly that has existed for centuries. There is nothing wrong or bad about it anymore than there is in eating a hamburger or steak tartar. You most likely won't see a hemo sapien eating either one of those, however, since their teeth lack enamel allowing them to remain razor sharp and they have no molars making chewing impossible. They do have health issues such as sensitivity to light and low bone density, but they also have certain advantages such as super-efficient digestive systems, excellent night vision and amazingly low cholesterol levels for such a high-cholesterol diet. In fact it's quite possible that many of the advances made in regards to blood illnesses, anti-coagulants and even heart disease would not have been made without the existence of our cousins of the "liquid lunch."

Comments

GeoffreyMe said

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on 11/7/2008 Yes, the insatiable soul suckers should be avoided! They smile as they devour!

Miragi said

on 11/7/2008 Not to be confused with the less-desirable PSYCHIC Vampires, who don't need teeth at all, they just have to enter a room to feed. Muah.

Haha.

5*Pointy Teeth. :D