How to Deal with a Verbal Bully
Bullying is a severe and traumatizing problem that plagues many of today's youth. A large percentage of the bullying that goes on is verbal in nature and, while it leaves no physical marks, can be just as damaging to the victim. You do not need to suffer alone if a verbal bully has targeted you with hurtful comments or even threats. There are steps you can take to end the bullying now.
- Difficulty:
- Moderate
Instructions
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1
Ignore the bully's hurtful words as your first resort. One of the reasons that people become verbal bullies is that they enjoy the reaction they get out of their victims. They enjoy the sense of power they feel when they have an effect on someone using their words alone. Through ignoring the bully, you make yourself a boring target, and he may give up trying to provoke a reaction out of you.
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2
Talk to a trusted authority figure, such as a teacher, counselor, coach or parent, about the verbal abuse. Ask her to be on the lookout for any signs of bullying so that she can catch the bullying in the act and punish the bully accordingly. Let the authority figure know if the nature of the verbal bullying is so severe that you feel that your safety is in danger so that she can notify the police.
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3
Avoid going places alone as much as possible. Bullies are cowards and often wait for an opportunity to catch their victims when they are alone and defenseless. They prefer to act when no one is around to witness their bullying so they can deny it ever happened if confronted by an authority figure. Traveling in groups also minimizes your chances of getting physically hurt if you suspect that the verbal bullying may turn physical at any point.
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4
Focus on your friends and enjoyable activities to keep your mind off of the bullying until it is resolved. Bullying victims are at an increased risk of depression because the bullying leads them to feeling isolated from their peers and hopeless that things will ever get better. It is therefore important that you spend time with your friends and partake in fun hobbies to remind yourself that there are still many positives in your life.
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1
Tips & Warnings
Tell a counselor or trusted adult if you have begun to experience depressive or suicidal thoughts since the bullying began. If you do not feel comfortable speaking to someone in person, dial 1-866-SPEAK UP (1-866-773-2587) to speak to a representative at the Bullying Hotline or 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) for the Suicide Hotline.
Skip step 1 if the bully has said anything so threatening to you that it left you fearing for your own safety. Go straight to an authority figure and ask that he report the abuse immediately.
Do your part to remain civil despite the bully's harsh words. Fighting back gives the bully the reaction she wants, thereby encouraging her to bully you more in the future. Furthermore, fighting back may provoke her to become physically violent. While it is tempting to return a bully's rude words with some of your own, it is best to allow adults to handle the situation.
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