How to Be OK With Not Making Any Money Writing eHow Articles

Hello out there! That jar of change and bills got your attention, too, huh? Just write fun articles and get paid? First a little WAM, then a new iPod, then a weekend for two...then an HDTV and a leather sectional! You start to write, write, write away, and two months later you've earned enough to buy a tall coffee of the day. Maybe a grande. But really, it's not so bad. You just have to be OK with not making any money writing eHow articles. Here are some tips.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Lack of internet savvy, or,
• Lack of internet interest, or
• Both
• An internal Luddite that rages against the internet machine
• A deep, dark, tribal mistrust of people who know more than you do

1. Realize it happens to everybody at first. Read around a little bit, especially in the Forums under the Community tab, and you'll see that a lot of people are frankly perplexed by the extremely low earnings generated by their eHow articles. The first month or two, for all your articles, you may earn as little as the California State mandated hourly minimum wage as of January 2008, minus about $8.00.

2. In an earnest effort to improve your earnings, you'll start to see a suspiciously large amount of magical talk about "keywords," "click-throughs," "link-backs," and other double-speak of successful eHow writers, who must have a gnostic circle that gathers by night to come up with these and other intimidating spell words, which they cast upon honest old-fashioned writers (like me) to keep them in a constant state of apprehension about their fitness for eHow.

3. Once you realize you can't possibly fight back against the onslaught of a supernatural force like theirs, you must retreat. This will be the low point of your eHow efforts, a time of self-doubt, self-blame, maybe even self-loathing. Don't give into it! You're simply under a spell--an enchantment designed to keep you feeling dumber than dirt!

4. Instead, turn your back on those artful lords and become part of my eHow community: the one that says, To heck with it! I'm just going to write and have fun. Escape from the dark will of Lady Internet and her minions, who demand that you feed your poor writing into the jaws of powerful and fearsome Crawlers and Engines.

5. So, for now, not making money writing articles for eHow is fine with me. When I get up enough courage to venture past the gates of my sunlit, easygoing world of pittance-a-day, and make some real money, I know that gloomy road will be lined with Authorities uttering dreadful enchantments like "residual income" and "revenue stream," which magically summon the spirit of mammon, it seems. Well, so be it. They'll get my attention, because I actually do want to make some money off eHow...but they won't get my Luddite soul.

Tips & Warnings

• Luddite: 1. a member of any of the 19th-century bands of English workers who destroyed machinery which they believed was threatening their jobs. 2. a person opposed to increased industrialization or new technology. Note: Luddites first appeared in 1811 in Nottingham, when knitters began wrecking machines used to make poor-quality stockings at prices which undercut skilled craftsmen. Their name came form a certain Ned Ludd, nicknamed 'King Ludd,' said to have destroyed two stocking-frames c.1779, although whether or not he existed is uncertain. The movement spread rapidly, large groups storming cotton and woolen mills in Yorkshire and Lancashire, but was quickly put down by the government's harsh reprisals, which included making machine-breaking a capital offence. Although the Luddites were never well organized, they were considered a serious threat by the government of the day, which was haunted by the spectre of a popular uprising. (The Oxford Encyclopedic English Dictionary, Third Edition)
• Heads up: I meant this article to be funny--I was just getting some humor at my own expense out of my system. If you don't think it's funny that's OK too! But I definitely wasn't being earnest. I really don't think there's a gnostic circle or internet minions on eHow. It was just a means of expressing my silly irrational resistance to change and helpful advice vs. nice helpful articles and advice you can find on how to make more money. Thanks!

[evelopez]

on 6/1/2009 too funny! ROFL!

[averycoleman]

on 5/31/2009 Ha! Tell it like is, man! 5*

[Gottaloveit]

on 3/15/2009 OMG! I'm dying over here! What a wonderful parody! I'm loving it. check out my article on sucking hind tit for similar sentiments...

[Coach4U]

on 3/14/2009 Interesting article. Thanks.

[malonedwards]

on 3/10/2009 So needed that, thanks!