How to Make a Guy Hate You

There are numerous reasons you might want a particular man to detest you. Maybe you've grown tired of a longstanding relationship. Or maybe there's a new certain someone hanging around whom you want to lose in no uncertain terms. Whatever your reason, follow these time-honored and tested steps if you really want to make a guy hate you. In no time at all, you'll be free again. (Until the next guy hates you.)

Instructions

1. Damage his car. It might only take a barely visible scratch or the tiniest of dings or dents. But if you really want to seal the deal, get sick in a guy's car. Blow your cookies all over the upholstery. Make sure you get the front and back seats, as well as every nook and cranny. That's the beginning of the end of the road.

2. Ruin (or at least seriously interfere with) his appreciation of sports. Call his favorite football team every name in the book. Wait until game day to "accidentally" break his widescreen TV 5 minutes before kickoff. If he TiVos a game, tell him who won before he gets a chance to watch. It doesn't matter what sport you ruin. Just pick something and run with it.

3. Keep him waiting forever. If he asks when you can be ready, say 6 p.m., then make him wait till at least 8 p.m. If you really want to make this guy hate you, don't be ready until 9 p.m.. Then claim to have forgotten something and insist that he go all the way back to your place to get it. When you arrive, say, "Oops! It was in my purse the whole time!"

4. Bring up your past whenever possible. Constantly discuss an old boyfriend. Compare the new guy to your ex. Use every opportunity to dwell on the past. Soon, any guy will hate you.

5. Hate on his dog. Before you can say, "It's me or the dog," the guy will hate you, guaranteed. As an added bonus, the dog will hate you, too.

Tips & Warnings

• One of these steps is more than sufficient to make a guy hate you. Use more than one step at your own risk.