How to Keep a Boyfriend That Parents Don't Like
While we're under our parents' roof, we have to follow their advice and rules--that's a no-brainer. But if a parent simply doesn't like a boyfriend, that's another story altogether. The issue could be one of jealousy or prejudice. However, if a parent disapproves of a beau because of alcohol or substance abuse, please listen to Mom and Dad.
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Instructions
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Ask your parent why she disapproves of your boyfriend. Don't just mouth the words, though: Wait for an answer and listen.
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Mirror what your parent is telling you; repeat back to him, as you understand it, why he disapproves. For example: "So, if I understand you correctly, you are worried that because he maintains a 'C' average, he'll adversely affect my GPA." Or: "It sounds like you need a little more information on his family's background. You are uncomfortable because he's moved around so many times."Perhaps your boyfriend is very sweet and hardworking, but school just isn't his thing. Perhaps he hasn't had teachers who have inspired or challenged him. Maybe he's gone through a tragedy, such as the death of one of his own parents. There are reasons why kids don't get exceptional grades, especially over short periods of time.Tell your parents you understand why they are concerned, but you are committed to maintaining your good study habits, if this is where the problem lies.If the issue is your guy's gypsy-like image, maybe your dad will rest assured when he learns that your fella comes from an Army family, and that's why he lived for half his life overseas before jumping from school to school in the States.
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Be ready to argue--albeit gently--with your mom or dad. That does not mean a shouting match. It doesn't mean acting immature and stomping out of the room.A healthy disagreement is far better than your "acting out" by going off racing on a motorcycle in the middle of the night with this hoodlum (if he is one).Have a debate with your parents. Present your side as factually as possible. Sometimes parents, especially dads, have especially strong misgivings about their little girl's guy.
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Find adult support for your position. If Dad and or Mom still don't like your fella, maybe Aunt Sylvia, who's coming over for lasagna Friday night, has some words of wisdom on the subject. Aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins are often more diplomatic with teenagers who are not their own children.Don't go behind your parents' back, though. Instead, ask them if they'd mind your discussing this with Cousin Fred, whose daughter had also dated a C-level quarterback with a pierced ear (or whatever the case may be).
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Heed the warnings when they are real. You do not want to be hooked up with a womanizer, alcoholic, dope smoker or ne'er-do-well. Especially if you are young, you may be drawn to the creep--but trust Mom and Dad on this. Date the nice boys. They're the ones who'll give you their letterman's sweater, and later their college ring--and one day, who knows? Maybe a proper ring as well.
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Tips & Warnings
Make sure your boyfriend is well-dressed and -groomed when he comes around. Parents have a tendency to distrust poorly-clad lads who reek of beer and too much adventure.
If you are out of your teens, don't overlook your friends' advice. We may get angry with those who love us, but guess what? They care enough to put their tushes on the line to save us from heartache and worse.
