Steps in Forgiving Someone
At the core, forgiving someone is more about you than them. Being able to move forward from the past is a conscious choice that you must make. It takes strength and dedication to forgive someone, but the rewards can be worth it.
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Instructions
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Address the problem head on. Uprooting the hurtful action or event that took place is liberating, although it may be painful. Acknowledging the truth is the beginning of healing.
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Talk it out to understand the other person's reasoning. If someone has hurt you, getting an idea of why someone did what he did or said what he said helps you put yourself in his shoes. A great deal of compassion is needed from you to be able to see someone who has hurt you through understanding eyes.
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Explain your feelings. Once you have heard the person's reasoning, it is your turn to be heard. Speak clearly and concisely, sticking to the issue at hand. Avoid name calling or berating, as this will defeat the purpose of moving forward. Telling your story will validate your feelings.
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Take time to sit with the wrong doing. Journal about it, talk with friends, cry or punch your pillow, but don't wallow. Choosing action will help move you toward forgiveness.
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Release your anger and hurt. Write the problem out on paper, and burn it to symbolically release the pain. Meditate and picture yourself physically releasing the hurt. The key is to to put forth the intention of releasing this harm.
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Choose to forgive. Any time you see the person who hurt you or the topic comes up, choose to flow with feelings of hope instead of sorrow. It may be a choice you need to make several times, but your happiness is at stake. Remember that you are in control of your life, and others' actions need not affect you.
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Tips & Warnings
Seek counseling for further assistance.
