How to Deal With an Irritating Co-Worker

We have all had one. There is that co-worker who does just the thing that will get under your skin in a heartbeat. The reasons for this are as varied as the individuals who do the irritating. Regardless of what is crawling beneath your skin every time that fellow workmate appears, it's possible to get a handle on it before the annoyance begins to disrupt your work performance and career. Take a deep breath and realize that relief is not far away.

Instructions

1. Take stock of the situation. Every time your temperature starts to rise from the irritation and frustration that the co-worker brings to you, think about what is really going on. Perhaps she is triggering something that you don't want to deal with in your own life. Perhaps you are secretly jealous of her approval from a manager and find the thing she is doing annoying simply because you don't like her. Ask yourself, if someone else was doing such thing, if it would be irritating. Chances are, there are outside influences beyond the frustrating workmate.

2. Distract the annoying co-worker when she starts to frustrate you. If you hate that she is constantly talking about her perfect kid, acknowledge that the kid is perfect. Give her what she seeks by acting out in such a silly way. Then change the subject. Distracting her after satiating her need to act out will work wonders for your sanity. You may find that she isn't such a bad egg if she gets directed down another path of conversation and behavior.

3. Keep a professional distance. Realize that you don't have to become best friends with your co-worker. Perhaps there are lifetime friendships that will be made at your company, but most co-workers come and go with each job. Be kind, but be brief with someone if he truly gets on your nerves. You will keep yourself sane by delegating dealing with him to necessary times.

4. Keep your feelings of irritation to yourself. If you start to gossip with others--or ask if the co-worker in question annoys them as much as he annoys you--you'll run the risk of being seen as the office "gossip." You'll lose more respect by dissing others than you'll gain friends who feel the same way. Stay professional on the job, even when you are tempted to behave like a teenager who wants to dis the nerd.

5. Talk to your co-worker about the problem if it persists or elevates. This is the most kind, professional way to handle something that is becoming a hindrance to your job. Ask the source of your frustration to set aside five to 10 minutes for a private chat. Avoid letting her thing that it's a friendly chat or something that is dire. Simply keep it casual and ask to speak to her about a work matter. Be quick, honest and patient in your explanation of what's bothering you. Let her talk uninterrupted. Then offer a solution. Think it through so that you can offer her two to four choices of things that would resolve the problem for you. If you are kind and considerate--as well as honest--you'll likely resolve the problem between the two of you. You may even find a friend beneath the annoying exterior.

6. Go to your manager if the problem does not change within a few weeks. There is no reason that your work should be affected by an inconsiderate worker.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't beat around the bush when talking to the person who is irritating you. Get directly to the point if you want to see change.