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Step 1
Stay calm. It's not possible to think logically and come up with practical solutions if you are upset.
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Step 2
Make a date to talk about money. Set aside as much time as you need. Before meeting, make sure that you are cool, calm and collected.
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Step 3
Gather your bills and financial statements together to show your spouse how much he is spending. He may not be aware of the severity of the problem.
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Step 4
Sit down before your date and write down how the excessive spending has made you feel. Your spouse should write down how spending makes her feel. Set the notes aside.
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Step 5
Explain the state of your finances without getting emotional or placing blame. It may be tough to do, but try.
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Step 6
Give your spouse time to explain himself. Did he grow up poor? Does he feel that spending gives him status? Did he ever learn how to manage money? There are many reasons a person may develop a spending problem. Something as simple as status or as difficult as bipolar disorder may be the root cause.
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Step 7
Discuss ways to decrease spending. Therapy for one or both of you may be needed. A meeting with a financial planner could also be helpful. Offer to cut back on something if she cuts down dramatically on expenses.
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Step 8
Realize when enough is enough. Most couples can work through financial problems, but some cannot. If your spouse is using you, ruining your credit, and has no remorse and refuses to compromise, then leaving may be the only option.
