How to Tell Your Boyfriend You Need Some Space

Asking for space is one of the most difficult things a woman can do. In reality, it is a breakup, but she wants to keep her options open. There may be good reason for the "space," but how it is communicated can determine who the guy recieves it. The main thing that has to be considered is the ego of the man. Is he the kind that would be willing to wait around?

Instructions

1. Determine your motive: Is it the need for some time for self or is there another person in the picture? The difference will determine what should be said. It would be unreasonable to ask a man to wait around while you decide if you want someone else. Break up if it is about another person.

2. Determine the time length. The expectation that a person is going to wait around forever for you to make up your mind is foolish. In fact, be forewarned that regardless of how you put it, in a guy's mind it is a breakup. Put a reasonable time limit on it. Under no circumstance should it go over 3 months. If you anticipate that it is going to be longer, then break up.

3. Ask for what you want. Be very clear about the need for space, and why you feel you need it. Discuss the terms, so that he understands. Even if you think it is about him, it really is about you, so you are not allowed to make it about him. If you really think it is about issues he has then break up and move on.

4. Do not use your request for space as a test of him. If you ask for space to work on your feelings, self, or whatever, it does not mean he owes you any faithfulness. Hopefully he won't go out with your best friend, but you can not throw up his seeing other people as a reason to later break up with him.

5. Give him space. Too many women ask for space, only to keep hanging around the guy and his friends. This brings about confusion and awkwardness, so in the interest of peace, find some new friends. This also means no booty calls, no "friend" dates or anything else that can send a message that you don't want to send.

6. Deal with the fact that he may not want you back. Too many women think that they can pick up where they left off when they decide that they are ready to go back to the relationship. The problem is that far too often the guy has moved on. It may hurt you, but in essence when you asked for space, you asked for a "limited time" breakup.