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Step 1
Explain to your children that things will be changing. Examples: where they will be staying
visitation with other parent -
Step 2
Do Not go into details of why the divorce is happening in full detail.
Example: If your spouse cheated your child should not know this if their under age. Tell your child you don't share nicely with their mommy or daddy anymore.
Answer your children questions appropriately for there age. Children do not need to have any burden put upon them. They will have enough stress with all the changes. -
Step 3
Make sure your child is not blaming themselves for what is happening. Since you are not telling them all details they may think they have something to do with the divorce. Ask your child questions regularly. Examples:
How do you feel about our current situation?
Do you feel like your being left out?
Do you know how much we love you?
Do you know you are not the reason we have made this decision? -
Step 4
NEVER talk bad about the opposite parent! You may do this to hurt your EX but the one you will be hurting the most is your child. Never send messages with adult content through your child to the other parent. This will confuse your child and may put hate in their thoughts toward you or the other parent. Your children will one day grow up and make their own decision of why this occurred. When they look back on this you should not want them remembering all the negativity you put in their lives when they needed you the most.
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Step 5
Remember your children should come first when making major life changing decisions. This does not mean to stay together for them, because they will feel something wrong. This may even make them believe this is how relationships are suppose to be which will give them a very unhappy adulthood. This simply means to make sure you are sensitive to their needs and feelings. Try talking calmly to the other parent especially when your child is present. If this is not possible you MUST wait till your child is not present. Do Not let them carry adult burdens!
