How to Break Dysfunctional Behavioral Patterns in Families

There are families with dysfunctional behavioral patterns that are passed down from one generation to the next. These dysfunctional behavioral patterns are alcoholism, drugs, emotional abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, mental illness, strict autocracy parental style, etc. All of these rob children of a happy childhood and they miss out on getting the proper parenting that they need in order to be functioning adults. These behavioral patterns have become the family script. A family script is the reputation or behavioral patterns of the entire family, which can be good or bad. Each member of the family has role or arrangement that partakes in the family script, which keeps it going, especially in dysfunctional family. Many families start to believe this is the norm. You have the dysfunctional (addict or abuser) person role, co-dependant (spouse) role, the victim (spouse or child) role, and etc. Unfortunately, many children who grew up this way continue with the dysfunctional family script with new family members taking on the roles. If you find yourself or know someone with this problem, continue to read this article to become aware and get some help to stop this dysfunctional cycle. Family scripts can be change or rewritten to become functional.

Things You'll Need

• Willing to change.
• An evaluation of your past and present.
• Confronting the issues from the past in a proactive way.
• Forgiving the dysfunctional person and their co-dependants for harming you.
• Go through the healing process.
• Rewriting your script as a winner.

Instructions

1. Many people will not think how dysfunctional their families are, unless you ask them this question. Does it feel good to you to be a member of your family right now? Think about this question and write down how you feel, remember to be true to yourself.

   Check out these other questions. Do you feel sad or angry, when you are around your family? Do you feel like a little child or victim again? Do you go back to the family roles (abuser and victim or co-dependant) when you were a child?

2. Take an inventory on how you felt about yourself in the past. Did you have anger issues as a child? Do you have them now? When did you start to feel this way, and why?

   Did you switch roles from victim to abuser or addict, when you became an adult? Once the feelings start to come into the consciousness or you become aware of them, you will become angry or really sad. Do these hurtful feelings reflect problems in your life? It's okay to have these feelings, as long as you don't hurt yourself or anyone else.

   Have a good cry and hit the pillow to release anger. Express your inner child feelings that you could not express when you were a child to a dear friend or a therapist, without violence. Seek spiritual assistance to help you to become whole.

3. Once you release your anger, you can start to heal and rewrite your script. Through the healing process, start to write down affirmations, like, "I now bring in the healing power of forgiveness. I now forgive you and release you. I release myself for accepting the belief pattern of pain and suffering. My heart is now open to receive love in my life." This may take weeks or months, before this sinks in. Start to love yourself and view yourself as a winner.

   People with serious issues like drugs and alcohol abuse should seek help through a treatment program and counseling. You must break off negative behavioral patterns from family and friends to keep you on the right track.

Tips & Warnings

• For people who have severe issues due to their past trauma and are unable to bring their hurtful feelings to the consciousness, seek a good therapist to guide you through the painful process, in order to heal.

• Get counseling for your children if they have been affected.

• If you can't deal with your hurtful feelings without violence, you must seek professional help immediately!