How to Help a Child Deal With Teasing

For as long as there are people, we will have teasing, and children are masters at it. It’s almost a badge of childhood, but the fallout is worst if your child has special needs or some physical defect like a cleft lip. As a parent, your urge is to get angry and to get in there and defend your little one--to fight his battles. Take a deep breath and calm yourself. You can’t fight his battles, and kids will always tease each other. It cannot be prevented. The best thing you can do for you and your child is to teach him techniques to handle the teasing.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Build up your child's self-image. Point out his good points. Remind him that he is a kind person who wouldn’t tease anyone and who thinks about others' feelings.

2. Remind your child that she is strong enough to handle the teasing. Have her repeat phrases like “I don’t like it, but I can handle it” and “I am strong and I know it isn’t true.” This exercise contributes to building up a thick skin.

3. Foster visualization. Have the child imagine that the mean words are bouncing off him, or that he is wearing a shield the words can't penetrate.

4. Teach your child to assert herself. Tell her to make eye contact with the bully, speak clearly, and in a polite voice say, “Stop making fun of me" or "I want you to leave me alone.” This method usually works best in a classroom, where there is supervision and structure.

5. Teach your child to agree with the facts, try the “so” response or give a compliment. All of these methods disarm the teaser. For example, if the teaser taunts, “You are stupid” and your child responds with a simple “So?”, it leaves the teaser doubtful of what to say next or how to react.

6. If all else fails, get help, especially if the teasing turns physical.

[nikkia623]

on 10/24/2009 This is good advice.

[Thims]

on 11/18/2008 Great article. I was tease unmecifully when I was a child. My mother taught me these same steps. One caveat, is sometimes when "turns physical," is turned around. That is help!