How to Let Friends Know They're Being Cheated On

Your friend is hopelessly in love with her significant other, but your eyes are much clearer and your heart isn't dancing on your sleeve. You've seen your friend's partner be relentlessly and/or slyly unfaithful to her. But how do you tell her this without looking jealous, spiteful or like a liar? You don't want to hurt your friend's feelings; you just want to bring her back to reality. This takes a great deal of tact, but more importantly, a great deal of proof.

Instructions

1. Ask your friend to come out with you to a place where you regularly see his significant other flirting with other people. But don't tell your friend this is the reason you're asking him to meet you. If you do, and he doesn't necessarily want to face the truth, he won't come. Don't give your friend the opportunity to turn you down. Just let him show up and observe the situation.

2. Tell your friend why you feel her significant other is cheating. This is a bold move, so be prepared to defend yourself and explain why you felt this information had to come out on this particular day. You might be accused of wanting your friend's boyfriend to yourself, or of being jealous because you're not in a relationship (if you aren't). Hold your ground. As long as you meant no harm and just wanted to give your friend some tough love, you did nothing wrong.

3. Take photos. Many people these days carry cell-phone cameras or digital cameras on a frequent basis, so playing detective isn't quite as conspicuous as it used to be. If you see your friend's significant other out on a date or somewhere where she has no business being, snap a picture and send it to your friend. Suggest that he ask his significant other where she was that day. If she person lies, it should raise an alarm with your friend.

4. Call your friend's voicemail or ask her to be quiet on a three-way call, then contact her significant other to explain how you know he's cheating. This is one of the most daring ways to let your friend know what's going on, and she has to either agree to eavesdrop on the conversation or listen to the entire voicemail. Don't underestimate your friend's boyfriend, though. He expects you to run back and tell your friend, so he will be very careful in the conversation. (Of course, there's always the occasional person who feels he will never get caught, and so runs his mouth like water.)

5. Forward to your friend any emails, phone calls or text messages you've received. (Only take this step if your friend's girlfriend is flirting with you.) Anybody can hear some gossip and ignore it. However, it's another story when your friend can recognize an email address, a phone number or a voice.

Tips & Warnings

• If you don't feel comfortable telling your friend she's being cheated on, it's understandable for you to want stay out of the situation. Some people prefer to find out on their own; just keep in mind how you would feel if the tables were turned. Would you want to know?

• Before following any of these steps, ask your friend whether he would want to know if his partner was being unfaithful. If he says he would rather not know, leave it alone.