How to Overcome Shyness as an Adult
Living as a shy adult can be difficult for many. Lack of confidence and increasing discomfort around other people can interfere with a shy adult's ability to achieve his/her goals. Here are some tips that may help to combat your battle with shyness.
- Difficulty:
- Moderately Easy
Instructions
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Dress and perform for success. Do things that will build your self confidence such as dressing sharp, exercising regularly, helping others by volunteering, and offering others kind words. Self perception can affect how you see yourself greatly. When you like the way you look and feel, your self esteem will have the ability to rise. The way others perceive you can also be critical to your self esteem. By helping and complimenting others, you are increasing your chance of positive perception by others. Meaning more people are likely to like you, thus your self confidence will rise. Having greater self confidence can assist you in following the next steps successfully.
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Think positive, but be yourself. If you make believe to be someone else or something that you are not, it will only make things difficult later. You should never have to pretend in order to overcome shyness (unless you are taking an acting class). People should like you for you and not what you think they may want you to be. Acceptance is one of the greatest qualities of friendship.
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Overcome being shy with one person at a time. If you are at a party, large gathering, lunch meeting or just about anywhere, you can always scout out someone who is alone and approachable. Chances are, the other person will be glad to be acknowledged and will welcome conversation. Use open ended questions rather than those that can easily be answered with a "yes" or "no" in order to keep the conversation flowing. And don't be afraid to use eye contact to let the other person know that you are interested in what they are saying. It is also good to use eye contact to build self confidence, too. Many shy people tend to not look in the eyes of others, instead opting to look at the floor, wall, or anything but the eyes of a person's face.
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About to meet someone or people that you have never met before? Find out more information from someone you trust about the person (or people) who will be attending. Politicians and executives may get briefed on the people they are meeting before they meet. It helps them to know what to expect and what to say, making the situation easier. Having knowledge of a person's background can help you prepare a list of questions or things to talk about. Fear that causes shyness is lessened when we eliminate as much of the unexpected as we can.
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Volunteer in your community, workplace, church, school, or anywhere else where volunteers are welcomed. Not only is this is a great chance to do something good for someone else as well as yourself, but it is also a terrific way to boost your self-esteem and confidence. Volunteering can open up opportunities to talk to people who share a common interest with you, thus it's a good conversation starter (e.g. "Why are you volunteering?" or "How did you find out about this volunteer opportunity?").
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Observe what social skills techniques work for others. Beware, what works for others may not work for you. For example, you may notice that a friend always smiles and offers you a joke when he greets you. If you are good at telling jokes and feel comfortable using this ice-breaking technique, you may want to try it. However, if telling jokes is not your forte, then keep observing. All the world is your classroom, keep observing and learning!
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Go to a real classroom. Take classes in something that will interest you. Furthering your education and knowledge about something will make it easier for you to strike up conversations with people who share the same interest. The more you know, the more confident you will feel about starting conversations or even joining them.
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Be brave. Adopt a "just do it" attitude. Life is short for some, long for others. Whichever way you see it, live your life to the fullest. You will make mistakes by taking chances. You will also make mistakes by living shy. If mistakes are a part of life and are bound to happen, then you may as well live bravely. The more mistakes you make, the more you learn not to make the same mistake twice. You will gain more knowledge and experience by being brave. So what have you got to lose other than your shyness? Be brave!
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