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Step 1
Read your lease carefully. Sometimes what you think is an offense is not recognized as such in the fine print of the lease . For example, music may be allowed very early and very late to attract younger renters. You must be honest with yourself and determine if, in the dispassionate mind of a third party, your neighbor will be viewed as in the wrong.
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Step 2
Keep a log of disturbances. Whether it is loud music, fighting, trash outside your door, treatment of a family member or any one of a number of other things, you cannot keep it in your memory. Something like loud music may seem to be omnipresent, but if you keep a log, you may find that you are overacting.
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Step 3
Determine whether the disturbance is something you can live with. Frankly, that is always the best course of action. If you absolutely cannot live with the circumstances, write an outline of points as far as an approach. Go to your neighbor's door in the late afternoon, not at night. This is the time most people are awake and there is not as much chance for a confrontation. Smile and extend your hand. You are there to solve a problem, not argue. Simply state the fact such as, "Occasionally the bass in your music shakes our apartment. Is there anything we can do about it, or would you consider that an imposition?" Often a neighbor will have had no idea they have affected other people.
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Step 4
Sit down with the apartment management if the meeting yields no results. Ask the apartment management for advice. Often the first thing they do is send out a reminder to all residents regarding the problem you are having. This gives them a chance to remind people of the rules without singling out your neighbor.
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Step 5
Continue to keep a log, and if things don't improve, go back to the apartment management. At that point they will probably sit down with you and your neighbor and mediate an agreement.
