How to Act at Formal Dinners

Okay. So you've been invited to a formal dinner. You may be thinking, "What's a formal dinner?" And it's no joke - many in today's society have no idea what a formal dinner consists of and how one is to act during it. If you have been caught in such a predicament, this article will point you in the right direction of how to act at formal dinners.

Instructions

Getting Ready for a Formal Dinner

1. Respond to the formal dinner invitation either by phone or in writing. Usually, the invitation will suggest which way to connect with the evening's hosts. It is important to confirm your attendance in order for the hosts to correctly account for the number of expected guests.

2. Make sure you have the proper attire for the evening. Formal dinner dress can range quite a bit. One rule of thumb is for the men in attendance to wear a tuxedo and for the women to wear a formal dress if the invitation has a bowtie emblem on it. A sure way to know what is expected is to simply ask the host when confirming your attendance.

3. Make sure your schedule allows plenty of time to prepare for the evening. Consider all pre-event grooming needs, such as haircuts or hair-styling. Also, remember to have clothing alterations done well in advance. Do not forget to have your shoes shined as well, if needed. You may also want to order a corsage or boutonniere. Be sure to remember an overcoat or umbrella if the weather demands it as well. You may even want to have your car freshly washed.

4. Consider whether it would be appropriate for you to bring some small gift to the hosts. Common gift ideas include a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates or a bottle of wine. On some occasions, such a gift would be unnecessary. However, particularly for small formal events, such gifts make a large impression on the hosts.

5. Make sure you have proper directions to the event. It would be most unfortunate to go to all of the trouble of preparing yourself for the dinner and then to miss the event by not finding the location.

Entering a Formal Dinner

1. Allow plenty of time to get to the stated venue to ensure not being late. Timeliness helps the hosts stay on schedule and gives the impression to the hosts that you value the invitation.

2. Park your car in consideration of how long you plan to attend the event. If you are attend a private dinner at someone's home and know you will have to leave the event earlier than others, you may want to park your car on the street or closer to the entrance to keep yourself from being blocked in by the vehicles of other guests.

3. Ring the doorbell or stop in with the guest attendant at the entrance. You may need to leave your coats with the attendant at the entrance and provide your name so they know you have arrived.

4. Be sure to greet the hosts as soon as you are able, making sure not to interrupt them if they are busy with other guests. Greeting the hosts and thanking them for inviting you shows consideration.

During the Formal Dinner

1. Be sure to follow the directions given throughout the evening. Once dinner is served, follow the hosts and wait for them to direct you to your seating. Once you arrive at your place setting, wait until the host or hostess directs the group to be seated and when to begin eating. If you are a gentleman, make sure you help the ladies next to you with moving their chairs in and out from the table.

2. Follow the rules of etiquette when it comes to eating your meal. You may need to do some research on the rules of etiquette before you attend the event. In short, a good rule of thumb is to eat using your utensils properly - with the fork in your left hand and your knife in your right hand. Also, remember to take small bits and not to scrape your plate. Your utensils should also be crossed over your plate during the meal and set together on the side of the plate once you are finished.

3. Do not take any food items until they are offered or until you ask for permission from your hosts. It can be quite rude to "tank up," and it can leave the impression that you are only there for the food.

4. Remember to follow the hosts when it comes to conversation. Allow them to lead the conversation and be mindful to not be too dominant in the conversation. Also, you might want to refrain from offering any offensive remarks that could taint the enjoyment of the evening for others.

5. Be gracious enough to help the others around you enjoy the evening as well. If the hosts are too far away to lead the conversation, start up a conversation with those at your table. Try to bring everyone into the conversation, and be mindful to ask them about their interests, hobbies or recreations. You may even want to bring up a topic about a current event.

Exiting a Formal Dinner

1. Try to remain at the formal dinner no less than about a half hour after the meal was served. This shows your hosts that you enjoyed the evening and appreciated all of their efforts. If you rush out right after the meal, it can leave a poor impression.

2. Be sure to thank each of your hosts before you leave and tell them at least one aspect of the evening that you enjoyed. You may even want to suggest returning the favor and having them over to your home, should the offer be appropriate.

3. Do not forget to pick up your coats, umbrellas or anything else you may have left at the entrance.

4. Drive home carefully, especially if it is late when you leave the party.

Tips & Warnings

• Remember to have fun and enjoy the event.

• Drink with caution at formal dinners. You may offend your hosts if you have too much to drink. Make sure you avoid driving impaired as well.