How to Have a Girls' Night Out With a Teenage Daughter

The two of you will have a great time abandoning stress and temporarily--or perhaps permanently--forgetting your conflicts.

Having a girls' night out can be a great way to bond with a teenage daughter. Particularly as your teen reaches the age when she becomes "prickly" about hanging out with you in front of her friends, you will both welcome the opportunity to get away from the confines of the house, where you may be experiencing some conflict together, and just have a nice time together being girls.

Instructions

1. Get your teenager in on the planning. Teenage girls generally enjoy attention and your daughter will probably be happy to spend a girls' night out with you, but she may be "cool" toward the concept and not contribute much at first--obviously, this will depend on the girl. You need a game plan before you start planning so that if she does not participate much you will have asked for her input (very important) but not suffer from the lack of it. You might do things like get your nails done, go learn a new skill like trapeze or trampoline, or try out a cooking class together. Afterward, you should definitely have a good dinner at a nice restaurant.

2. Make a special purchase together. Once you have set your agenda, the two of you might do a little early shopping. If you are working on a tight budget, then you might just go out and get a pretty pair of costume earrings or an inexpensive bag or pair of shoes to wear on your girls' night out. This will help build the anticipation of the day together.

3. Start out early. Just because you are calling it a girls' night out does not mean it has to start after dark. Start early with activities that will culminate in a great meal. Do something outside, go shopping together (if you can do so peacefully) or try out some of the activities mentioned earlier.

4. Do active things. Early in the day, you should keep busy. You can choose activities that promote conversation, but they should not suffer from the lack of it. This is important because teenagers are naturally reticent in many cases, so you do not want to set up a situation where you are both uncomfortable in the silence. Getting nails done or learning something new allows for talk, but does not require it. Later, you will be able to relive the fun of the day over dinner or, if you want, have more serious conversation.

5. Have dinner late. Not only does a late dinner give the impression of a night out, but it also gives the two of you plenty of time to loosen up. Even close mothers and teenage daughters can feel awkward around each other at times, so a late dinner will give you all day to enjoy each other's company before getting down to the serious laughs.

Tips & Warnings

• A girls' night out should be a fun, low-pressure event. If you and your daughter are struggling with responsibility, power issues or other classic teen problems, this is not the night to talk about them. This is a night to lay a foundation for later, easier exchange of thoughts and ideas. While you may be dying to ask your daughter serious stuff, instead focus on praising her, enjoying her company and letting her know how special she is. Not only will she likely open up on her own, but you will both feel less pressure in later, more serious conversations. This does not mean that you should ignore problems, but you may solve them more effectively if you can let them go for an evening and wait to see if she brings them to you.