How to Spot A Beer Snob

According to recent statistics, an increasing number of people in the United States are being diagnosed with a condition known as "Beer Snobbery". Those identified as having this condition often complain that the taste of common American brewed beers is like the taste of water or worse. The unfortunate victims of this condition must obtain beer flavor and enjoyment from small breweries or other countries - often at greater cost.

Dear reader, does this sound like you or a loved one? If so, you or that person may also be a Beer Snob. The steps below will help to you identify the warning signs.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A willingness to admit you have a problem

1. 
    
   Doh!

   When you hear Sarah Palin refer to "Joe Six Pack", you only want to know what brand of beer she is referring to.

2. When describing a beer drinking experience, you've actually uttered the word "mouthfeel".

3. 
    
   Hops

   You roll your eyes and get frustrated if someone cannot name the basic ingredients of beer from memory.

4. 
    
   Chaucers Mead

   You know what mead is and, furthermore, you've tried it more than once.

5. 
    
   Reinheitsgebot (German Beer Purity Law of 1516)

   The extent of your knowledge of the German language is limited to one word - "Reinheitsgebot".

6. 
    
   Barley

   "Zymurgy" is the only word that comes to your mind when you try and list words that starts with the letter "Z".

7. 
    
   Sam Adams Old Fezziwig Ale

   You don't note the passing of the seasons with a calendar, but by the seasonal specialty beers made available from the Boston Beer Company, makers of Samuel Adams beers.

8. 
    
   How uncivilized.

   You cannot even imagine drinking a beer from a bottle much less - horror or horrors - a can.

9. Dear friend - If you have exhibited one or more of the characteristics above, I'm sorry to tell you - you are indeed a Beer Snob. Do not despair. Help and hope is available. See tips, warnings and links below for assistance.

Tips & Warnings

• Professionals agree that this condition is nearly impossible to reverse.
• Seek support and treatment from a Beer of the Month Club, a local brew pub or a home brewing association.
• As always, drink responsibly. Beer snobs know that it is about quality, not quantity.
• "Friends" may try to "help" treat your condition by offering you remedies that go by the street names "MGD", "Pabst", "Bud" and the particularly hideous "Black Label". Do not succumb to such pressure. Your condition will only worsen.
• If you are not a beer snob, be sensitive to those that are. A more politically correct description for victims of this condition is "Beer Connoisseur".

Resources

• * Beer of the Month Club
• Mr. Beer
• Samuel Adams
• Reinheitsgebot
• Got Mead?
• Zymurgy Magazine

[Kallicat]

on 1/18/2009 I am not a beer snob, unless it counts that I snub all beer.

[Oktobers]

on 1/3/2009 You nailed my husband to the tee! He is such a beer snob!

[BHolmes]

on 12/28/2008 This was pretty funny...guess I am not a beer snob, I go for that is on sale! :-)

[ScarlettOHairy]

on 12/20/2008 Glad to see you mentioned Sam Adams. A lovely beer. I am indeed a beer snob. All of those hideous brands you mentioned in Warnings section are not worth the can they are shipped in. Yech.

[AuntieAndrea]

on 12/12/2008 lol, my boyfriend is a beer snob. He and a couple of other guys call each other the three muskabeers and buy exotic beers to try each week and they split up the packs. Then they call each other on the phone to talk about the beer. Jeez. Oh well, I now like beer when I didn't before, there's a lot of different tasting beers out there.