Things You'll Need:
- Patience
- Some Free Time
- Possibly A Stiff Drink
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Step 1
First, your teen probably knows more about the “s” word than you think. Granted, some of his/her knowledge may be misconstrued but the basic groundwork is already in his mind. With that being said, you must not sugar-coat the subject. Be factual, to the point and open to questions.
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Step 2
Secondly, do not mistake your teens gazing at the floor as them being distant or removed from the conversation. You are not the only one that will feel uncomfortable about the subject of sex. It is okay to let your teen know that this is as weird for you as it is for them.
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Step 3
Next, please don’t use cutesy little names for genital areas. You are not talking with a 3 year old and your child does not want to feel like one. You can share with your son or daughter the various slang words that are used to describe the genitals.
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Step 4
Times are drastically different for teens today than it was during our adolescent years. Educate yourself about the various sexually transmitted diseases. If you are knowledgeable about the signs, symptoms and long term affects, it will be easier for you to share this with your teen. This is an important part of the “talk”.
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Step 5
Practice in front of a mirror. I know that this sounds a little awkward but better to feel awkward in the mirror than feeling awkward face to face with your teen. They always say that practice makes perfect.
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Step 6
Use note cards. These can be talking points. When you are nervous you may have the tendency to forget important topics. Write these bullet points on a note card for easy reference.
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Step 7
Pick a time and date when you will have ample time to address the subject of sex. If you have to, put it in your calendar so that you will have all the time needed to talk, listen and answer questions.
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Step 8
After all of that, if you are still nervous about having the sex talk with your teen, a glass of wine never hurts.
Comments
counselor40 said
on 7/29/2009 Good stuff. I like the tips a lot. Please check out my piece about talking to teens in general. Thanks!
coolprofessor said
on 4/6/2009 This is good advice to prepare a parent how to get ready for "the big talk." But it does not really tell them what they should say. This article is correct that very specific information is needed. See my articles in the Health section on How to Avoid HIV Infection. What is needed is very specific "sex education" because the schools have been so intimidated by fundamentalist Christians and the Catholic Church that they do not provide real education for kids about sex. It is crucial for parents to do this. You must overcome your nervousness, because what you say could save your child's life.
Alisiane said
on 9/29/2008 This is good advice. I have a 9 year old who I recently had a talk with. A harder part of "the talk" is that it's never just one talk because you have to keep adding and updating to the information as it becomes more age appropriate.....oh the joys of parenthood huh? lol