Things You'll Need:
- Ability to BREATHE deeply
- Time
- Patience
- Back up resources
- Patience
- And more patience
-
Step 1
BEGIN THE BAKING PROCESS PART OF MAKING THE WEDDING CAKE: 2 Days prior to the wedding day. (Day 1):
(We'll start here even though the wedding cake process SHOULD have started with the cake design months ago. We'll assume the design is in place. If not, you're in deep trouble.)
We'll assume also, that you have calculated and purchased all of the ingredients you will need for the baking and decorating process.
Follow me:
1) Empty off ALL of your available counter space. Yes, ALL of it. By the end of the baking time, you will have cake parts everywhere. It is not recommended to use the couch, chairs, coffee tables, etc. as cooling and storage areas, lest Fluffy or Fido decide to test your recipe.
2) Be prepared to bake another pan or two. Inevitably, you will pull one pan out with a cake that is twice as high on one side as it is on the other because the floor is not level and you forgot to rotate the pan in the oven midway through the baking. OR, it's possible that you will inadvertently drop an entire pan of batter into your oven or onto the floor- for which, Faithful Fluffy and Fido will be there in a heartbeat to help you with clean up.
3) Now that your oven has been on for 6 hours straight and your home is toasty and warm (at around 95+ degrees), it is time for break number 1.
Congratulations for making it this far. -
Step 2
COOL AND FORM WEDDING CAKE PIECES:
1) All cakes must be removed from the pans onto cooling racks. Again, use the countertops. The cakes are even more accessible to those with whiskers or little fingers if they are placed in low lying areas.
2) Once cool, it's time to start leveling the cake parts. This simply means to cut off the "crown", or raised part of the cake. HINT: You can ward off children and spouses from taste testing by letting them know you're at this part of the process and they can have the "tops" as soon as you have them in a dish !
3) Wrap the individual sections once they're cooled and leveled.
4) Now empty your refrigerator. Completely. Coolers, snow banks, neighbor's frig., anything goes as alternative food storage. Cake parts frost better once cooled adequately so the refrigerator is the likely source.
5) No frig. access? Ok, take your chances then on storing cake parts on the counter. I suggest a night long vigil or send the kids, spouse and pets to your mother's. -
Step 3
FROST, POSITION, AND DECORATE THE WEDDING CAKE: Day 2:
1) Congratulate yourself for making it through day 1. Now put the coffee on. Don't make it too strong, you're going to need a steady hand for today's work.
2) Mix your icing/frosting of choice.
3) Call your mother and tell her you'd like her to keep the kids just a little while longer. Otherwise, every two minutes they will be asking if they can lick the beaters. Ditto for your spouse.
4) Frost each cake part with a thin layer of frosting. When you're done, you'll have a crumb speckled, ugly looking cake that if the bride were to see, she would faint.
5) Allow frosting/icing to cool or air dry.
6) Now start the process of frosting all over again with a new, clean layer of frosting. Smoothe it all over.
7) Take a break - Use this time to stretch your hands, fingers, and back. The next part of the process is a back breaker.
8) Prepare your icing for the decorating of the cake sections. This icing will be placed inside a cake decorating icing bag with fancy little tips to make the swirls, ribbons, and other lovely touches to this fabulous wedding confection.
9) Grit your teeth. After 5-6 hours of squeezing this innocent icing bag, your hand will, in fact, go numb. Your fingers will swell and you won't be able to write your name for days afterwards. It will absolutely amaze you how much pain this tiny item will create in your whole body.
It is NOT suggested to switch hands to do these artful decorative techniques.
10) Keep a small spatula handy to scrape off any "mistakes" such as when your hand gets tired and you find it dragging through the work you just completed; or when an air pocket in the icing bag suddenly ruptures and spews icing in places you don't want.
11) Call mom and let her know you're done and the kids can come back home. Unless she'd like them for one more night. -
Step 4
DELIVER THE WEDDING CAKE: (Otherwise known as "the home stretch!):
1) Make the coffee a little stronger this morning. You'll need nerves of steel for the delivery.
2) Assuming you have chosen your driver for the delivery van, truck, wagon, or other vehicle with some storage area; it's time to carefully begin the loading process.
3) Try not to be nervous with every step you take with this 30 lb section of wedding cake that you cannot possibly replace in the next 4 hours. Don't think about the snow and ice. Consider that you probably shouldn't have crocs or clogs on your feet, but realize that now that's a moot point.
4) Place each piece GENTLY in the vehicle. Treat them as if you're handling nitro glycerin and there could be an explosion at any second. If you drop this cake, trust me, there will be an explosion...one like you have never experienced. The blushing bride will turn into BRIDEZILLA if her cake is not beautifully displayed when she enters the reception.
5) Thank your driver profusely BEFORE you get on the road. You will be cursing him/her before the journey is over. Remember that every bad driver is on the road on this very day. The weather will be at it's worst. Your brakes are the key to a safe delivery.
6) When you reach the reception location; wipe the sweat from your brow and Give Thanks.
7) Don't let your breath out yet. It's not over....... -
Step 5
SET UP THE WEDDING CAKE AND GET OUT ! (The "sigh"):
1) Bring the cake sections into the reception room. Do not let the still hung over groom's men help you. Look for the bloodshot eyes.
2) Set up the wedding cake display. Make sure if you shake the table slightly that it stands sturdy.
3) Stand back and admire... Make it brief.
4) Snap a quick picture or two.
5) Get the heck out of there. Once it's in place and others have seen it standing in all it's glory; it's no longer in your charge.
6) Try not to think of all the hours you put into this magnificent wedding masterpiece or the fact that you still can't move your fingers. It's imperative to not become attached to this superb display of creative genius because shortly a good portion of it will become part of the bride and groom's attire.
7) NOW, let your breath out.... Until you step into your kitchen and see the disaster that awaits you.
Comments
veryirie said
on 3/14/2009 OMG! I know now I could NEVER attempt baking a wedding cake. You must have nerves of steel; ha! LOVE the tip about not letting the "helpful" groomsmen with the bloodshot eyes help you set up the cake. haha
bar10dr98 said
on 1/28/2009 I had no idea, thanks for sharing this awesome article!
hollie1974 said
on 1/9/2009 Wow! I never knew! Thanks for the informative and funny article!
wordstock said
on 1/9/2009 Wedding cakes are harder than I thought. Glad I don't make them. I can't handle the stress.
FrogDoc said
on 1/9/2009 I need to call the lady that baked my wedding cake now and thank her again!