How to Deal With a Domineering Mother
Most mothers want what’s best for their children. When they give you instruction or orders, they believe they are doing it for your own good. Some mothers continue to do this once their children are grown and capable of making their own decisions independent of parental input. These types of mothers always have input on what you should and shouldn’t be doing and it can feel as though they are trying to run your life. In some cases, the children may try to distance themselves from their mother as much as possible while other children may reluctantly continue to let their mother run their lives. If you have a domineering mother, there are ways to deal with her and gain control of your own life.
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Instructions
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Identify the controlling behavior. A mother is most likely domineering if she is overly critical of the things that you do, acts as if your opinion doesn’t matter and repeatedly voices her opinions over yours, doesn’t respect your privacy, and belittles you by the way she talks to you and treats you. Once the domineering behavior is identified, the two of you have to find a way to deal with the problem.
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Talk to her. Your mother may still be viewing you as a child who needs her help. If you feel like she is being too intrusive and domineering, tell her that you appreciate her concern but let her know that you’re capable of handling things without her help. Some parents have a hard time accepting the fact when their children are becoming or have become adults. You will have to tell her when she is overstepping her bounds between being supportive and being domineering.
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Show your independence. If you’re still living at home with your mother, she may feel as if she has a right to be domineering and still tell you what to do. As long as you’re living in your mother’s house you will have to follow her rules regardless of your age. Move out on your own as soon as you can. As an adult, you should be able to support yourself and show your mother that you can handle your own affairs and take care of yourself.
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Try not to yell or argue with her when she is displaying domineering behavior. This will most likely lead to an argument between the two of you and won’t solve anything. If she will not listen to you and tries to talk over you when you voice your opinion, walk away until you’ve both calmed down.
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Ask your mother to go to counseling with you so the two of you can work out your issues. Sometimes it’s helpful to get professional advice. A counselor will help you to set boundaries and give your mother advice about backing off. It’s also a good mutual place for both you and your mother to voice your concerns or problems and have to listen to each other. If you both follow the advice from your counselor, you can work on building a healthy relationship.
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Comments
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doriemae07
Mar 02, 2011
Having been faced with a take-over in society not just with a bullying mother, and domineering family of friends and networks, I am at odds what I am going to do. Getting nervous for another plan has been made that I don't know I agree to or not. Now that I am going to become completely single, I am scared that I want to jump again for I've been devout of all friendship contact but one person. It is not satisfactory with the attitude that is going on. Good that has come out of this Tomboy Teeze: Teaching other girls how to complete and notice their friendships and increased personal, and physical strength training, and a desire to do something in way of dance or ballet with roller skating. Negative that generated these events: Insecurity, possible irrational behavior, and a continued boredom accompanied with an innate fear of complete public exposure to the world. Being naked... -
aichausa
May 12, 2010
Great advice...if it works. Some mothers are narcissistic and won't work with their children regardless of the circumstances. First, my mother takes psych drugs, has been on them for longer than two decades, been to psych appointments for longer and given a couple of diagnoses by various docs. We're incapable of having a normal mother/daughter relationship, although, she has an okay relationship with my daughter and her son. She definitely has her favorites, but I refuse to stoop to their level of 'keeping the peace' at my consciousness' expense. If I know she's crossed the line, she'll know it and she hates that I let her know. The others don't dare. I just refuse to be walked on. Just because they're family, doesn't give them license. Thank goodness I am wise to that. Others will turn the other cheek. Their choice. I am all about a clear conscience.
