How to Help Someone Going Through a Divorce
A divorce is one of the most devastating events in a person's life. That's why it is crucial for you to know what to say and what to do when a friend or loved one is going through this trying period in his life. Saying the wrong thing or behaving the wrong way can have far-reaching implications for your relationship and the mental and emotional health of your loved one.
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Instructions
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Listen well. Don't interject. Don't compare your situation or another situation. Just listen, be sincere and offer input when asked.
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Be present. Keep in mind you don't have to feel obligated to say anything. The most important thing is to let this person know you are there for her by actually being there.
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Don't make promises you can't keep. Now is not the time to disappoint your friend or loved one. That could bring an already vulnerable individual over the edge. When you say you'll do something, do it. If you're unsure or have your own limitations, resist the urge to offer that person the world.
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Check up with them regularly. He may be in no mood to reach out to you, but this is when he needs you the most. Take the initiative to reach out.
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Don't judge. Divorce can happen to anyone. No one sets out to get a divorce. Keep that in mind before you say something or put your preconceived notions or moral authority on the situation.
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Help out with the kids. Babysit, offer to take the person out to get her mind off of things. Overall just relieve the burden and stress by offering an outlet and some much-needed relief for your friend or loved one.
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Be available and accessible. Expect late night crying jags. Offer encouragement and just reassure him that you'll be there.
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Help create a support and financial network. This could be a circle of friends, organization or church. Create a phone tree and pool financial resources if financial support is needed until the person is back on her feet again.
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Help find a counselor. You may need someone who is professionally trained and equipped to help, particularly if he is deeply depressed.
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Do kind acts when they are least expected. Drop off dinner out of the blue. Stop by with tickets to a movie or play just because. These little gestures give that person something to look forward to and gets her mind off the trauma.
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Attend a divorce support group with him. These groups often offer the best support from those who can truly understand his pain. He may need the additional push to go, and that's where your presence comes in handy.
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Get her in touch with or reach out to divorce crisis hotlines. If the situation is particularly precarious and the individual seems dangerously depressed, you'll want to act right away. Crisis counselors are trained to handle these situations and avert possible disaster.
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Start a new passion or hobby. Introduce him to art or take a cooking class with him. This new outlet will prove inspiring.
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