How to Deal With the Family Scrooge

Christmas is the most beautiful time of year. The smells from the kitchen, the sights in the yards of all your neighbors, and the white blanket that often falls upon the city--these things can bring joy to many heart. Yet, there is always someone in the family who doesn't enjoy the season. Christmas can stir the ire of some. When someone in your family hates Christmas and lets it be known every chance he gets, you don't have to let it bring you down. You can deal with the Scrooge in your family with sympathy and dignity--while still enjoying your holiday to the fullest.

Instructions

1. Listen to what the bah-humbug man is saying. He may be upset that nobody pays attention to his needs when it comes to Christmas. Perhaps he always spent his money buying gifts for others, yet nobody seemed to appreciate him or reciprocate when it was his turn to receive. Everybody is the way they are for a reason, after all. Ask him questions that will get him to open up. If he is able to air the true reason for his grumpiness and be understood for it, a lot of it may just evaporate.

2. Change the subject when complaints start to mount. If he points out that you spent too much money on the holiday or simply hates the color orange that you chose for his gift, acknowledge it simply. Quickly change the subject. Not dwelling on the complaint or giving him the negative attention he is craving will discourage similar comments for the rest of the day.

3. Play the "glad" game around the Christmas table. In a movie starring Hayley Mills called "Pollyanna," the character of the same name plays "The Glad Game." It's a way to find the joy in life. When things look negative, she points out the positive of the situation. When someone is complaining about Sundays, she points out that she's glad it will be a whole other week before they come around again. Let everyone around the table express a complaint while others take turns pointing out ways that it can be turned around to a positive. Follow that up with listing things that genuinely make you happy. All of your guests will leave with better peace of mind, and your Scrooge will be silenced.

4. Challenge a mean comment. While it is better to ignore small things, a comment that has truly offended you should be nipped in the bud. Be honest. Explain that it hurts your feeling. Your honesty may make him realize the error of his ways.

5. Teach generosity by being generous. If the Scrooge in your family won't even give a Christmas gift to your little one, don't let that stop you. Give him something that pertains to his hobbies, a gift you know he'll genuinely enjoy. Include a gift receipt to silence him if he has a complaint. He'll likely be touched and think twice before being so stingy next year.

Tips & Warnings

• Keep a nice tone of voice even if his gets gruff and mean. He may be looking for a way to bring you down to his level to prove to himself that all people are mean underneath it all.

• Don't let him see that his comments are truly bothering you. Keep your cool until you are in a safe place to release your frustration away from prying eyes.