How to Raise Twins With Individual Identities

Twins Should Be Individuals

Raising twins can be challenging, but trying to raise them as individuals can be downright overwhelming. One of the biggest problems twins face is that they do not believe people see them as separate individuals. Because they are born at the same time, they are seen as a package deal, which can bring on some serious personality issues as they age. Twins are individuals and should be treated like it. Enjoy raising two children at the same time, but make sure they always know they can be separate people rather than just "the twins."

Instructions

1. Call each child by her given name. Parents, relatives and family friends often fall into the trap of calling them "the boys" or "the girls." This leaves your kids feeling under-appreciated as individuals.

2. Avoid labeling your twins. As so often happens with twins, one is more artistic than the other or more proficient in math. Calling a child "the smart one" or "the artistic one" will make them feel that these terms define them in your eyes.

3. 

   Stop dressing them alike. Yes, it looks adorable, but it does not promote individuality. You can still use similar colors or themed clothes, but giving them their own look will help foster a style all their own. It will give them a chance to show off their distinct personalities.

4. Encourage each twin's individual interests in separate hobbies or sports. Just because they spend a lot of time together doesn't mean they have to do the same thing, even if it is easier on you. Allow them to choose their own hobbies. Also set aside time that only you and one of them can devote to it.

5. Dedicate one-on-one time with each child. Although family time is equally important, they need to spend time alone discovering who they really are. Taking the children to events separately will also show them that they can each be special in their own right. If the twins resist or one becomes jealous, explain that the other will have his turn as well.

6. 

   Praise them individually and never compare them to each other. If one earned an A and the other a B, do not use this as a weapon to get the weaker student to study more. Praise them separately on their own merit to teach them to feel confident in their own abilities. This also helps reassure them that you see them each as individuals.

Tips & Warnings

• Do your best to give individual attention to your twins during their birthday parties. For example, bake two cakes.