How to Help an Incarcerated Loved One Get Through the Holidays

The holiday season is fast approaching, and the hustle and bustle can be difficult for anyone to handle. However, if you have a loved one who will be spending the holidays in jail or prison, you both will be dealing with emotions most people can only imagine. Even though you probably will not get to see your loved one in person at Christmas, New Year's or whatever holidays you normally spend together, you can still support him or her during this time.

Instructions

1. Send gifts. While allowable items vary from state to state and sometimes location to location, send something a little special for the holidays. A magazine subscription, paperback books, or stationery are typically allowable items. Check with your loved one's institution to see what can be sent. If you cannot send anything, put some money in his or her "book."

2. Visit. If you visit monthly or weekly, continue to do so. If you live far away, making it difficult or expensive to visit, now is the time to find the means. Even if your loved one says, "Don't bother, it is too expensive and I will be sad when you leave," go anyway. Although it will be difficult to say goodbye, the time spent together will be well worth it.

3. Accept a collect call. Collect calls from prison or jail can be very costly, especially if you live in a different state. If you normally do not accept collect calls from your loved one, make an exception during the holiday season. Hearing your voice can make all the difference. Write your loved one a letter asking him to call home the next chance he gets.

4. Send pictures from your loved one's point of view, as if he or she was home celebrating with you. Use a tripod and camera with a timer and take pictures of everyone around the dinner table. Share pictures of your Christmas tree or other decorations, including his stocking hanging with everyone else's, stuffed to the gills.

5. Shop for gifts together. If it is your significant other who is currently incarcerated, ask him to help you choose gifts for the rest of the family. Early in the fall, begin sending catalogs and store ads, circling items you like and adding the proposed recipient's name, asking your loved one to do the same and send it back. Have your loved one pick out one special gift for each family member.

Tips & Warnings

• Having a loved one who is incarcerated is hard on you as well. Make sure you get the support you need.

• Don't take it personally if your loved one does not send you letters around the holidays. It just might be too difficult.

Resources

• Holiday Greeting Cards for Incarcerated People