How to Slack at Work (and not get caught)

There are many reasons to slack at work. You might not have enough work to do, or you might have too much and you need a break. Perhaps you just hate your job. Either way, slacking is an art form that requires a certain level of skill.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Pen
• Computer
• Stack of papers
• Blind spot mirror
• Half a brain

1. Know the Key to Success. Actually there are two keys to success: Alt and F4. Press these keys on your keyboard at the same time and you will immediately close the open window on your screen. Perfect for an unexpected visit from the boss and more effective than ALT+TAB, this shortcut not only hides, but also eliminates evidence.

2. Always be in the middle of something. Before you begin to slack, start a project that is easy to pick up again at a moments notice. Have it sitting right in front of you, and if there is a related program involved, have it open on your computer at an appropriate window so you can ALT+TAB your way into looking busy in 1 second flat.

3. Make SOME progress. Approximately every 30 minutes, make an attempt to accomplish a few things so you can show progress if necessary. Certain tasks can be done very quickly and still give the appearance of a lot of work being done, such as sorting mail.

4. Speak up. Always have something to say if your boss comes in. Either have a message for him or news about a project ready and make sure you speak first. It will not only create a sense of urgency and the illusion that you are on top of your game, but will also distract him or her from asking you about that assignment you haven't finished yet.

5. Keep your eyes open. It's important to stay alert so you do not get caught. Placing a blind spot mirror on the corner of your monitor can prevent coworkers and bosses from sneaking up behind you. You can find these at most Auto stores.

Tips & Warnings

• Keep your stack of papers and pen close so you can make notes when coworkers are nearby. You'll look even more busy and organized.
• Always clear your browsing history, cookies, and temp files after a recreational browsing session at your desk.
• Stay calm. Fidgeting may draw attention.
• Don't slack all the time. Obviously these techniques will only take you so far, and eventually you will have to do some work.
• If you're going to browse the internet while at work, avoid visiting sites that are likely to infect your computer with spyware or viruses.
• Do not brag to coworkers about your slacking skills.

[texasparky]

on 5/16/2009 SLACKER!!!

[edieness]

on 5/14/2009 Funny. this is an awesome article. 5*

[johnnyutah]

on 5/7/2009 i thought i was the king at this...fun article...great tips on How to Slack at Work (and not get caught) 5*

[shakethingsup]

on 9/23/2008 LOL LOVE IT!