How to Stop Children From Whining
Whiny children can make even a routine stop at the grocery store a nightmarish experience. For a parent, few things are more frustrating than watching your child constantly complain despite your best efforts to placate her. To make matters worse, children who whine and still do not receive what they want often throw tantrums, which may leave bystanders questioning the effectiveness of your parenting skills. However, whining can be controlled if you develop the proper strategy.
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Instructions
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Stay patient. If you respond with anger or frustration, your child will likely escalate his bad behavior. Take a few deep breaths and calm yourself before you start dealing with your child.
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Learn to recognize the triggers. In many cases, especially with toddlers and preschoolers, specific situations will cause whining. Your child may whine if she is hungry, tired or bored. She may also complain if she cannot get your attention because you are on the phone or distracted in some other way. Knowing these triggers can help you quickly soothe your child before her complaining really kicks into high gear.
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Express to your child in a calm voice that whining is not acceptable. Say something such as, "I know you're hungry, but you can't whine, OK? Just tell Daddy if you're hungry, and I'll get you something to eat." Inform your child that his behavior is inappropriate; then tell him the way he should behave.
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Tell your child you will not listen to her until she stops whining. If she continues to whine, do not respond to her complaints. Stare at her calmly and let her know that you will be happy to help her after she stops whining. If she continues to whine, go and complete some task. Tell your child you are ready to listen when she wants to speak to you in a normal tone of voice.
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Mimic your child's whining in a playful way. Children may not realize how they sound when they get whiny. Hearing you whine will often stop them -- at least momentarily -- as they listen to this strange, unpleasant noise you are making. Some kids may laugh, forgetting their own troubles. And some kids, depending on their level of fluency, may tell you to stop. Ask your child if she liked hearing that noise, and chances are she will tell you no. Explain that you don't like it either and that you would like her to stop.
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Express gratitude when your child eschews whining in favor of asking you nicely for something they want. This positively reinforces good behavior and gives your child a sense of pride that she has done something to please you.
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Tips & Warnings
It may take weeks or months before you notice an improvement in your child's behavior.
For older grade-school children, use a system of discipline and rewards to help stop whining. For example, take money from their piggy bank or decrease their weekly allowance for every major act of whining. Reward them for good behavior by cooking a favorite meal or buying them a treat.
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Resources
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