How to Make Yourself "Playa" Proof

Are you in the game...wondering how you got there and want out? Do you feel that all you will ever attract into your life is the "playa" types. Are you playing games and feel like you can't stop. Here is an opportunity to for you to be in control of your destiny.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Honesty
• Self-Awareness
• Steadfastness to your own Truth
• Commitment to change
• Willingness to accept responsibility

1. Self awareness is the first step. Take some time to think about what it is that you really want. After you are clear about that, understand that the founding principle of THE GAME is illusion. Everything about it is fantasy and the best playas are the ones who can get others to convince themselves that their fantasy is real all the while the playa gets everything that they want without doing anything. The best playas understand kharma and thus they get others to contract out themselves and agree to the terms of giving them what they want while the other person accepts full responsibility for not getting what they want. When you CHOOSE to accept a hurtful or unfulfilling relationship... the playa is free from kharmic responsibility as long as they told you what they will and won't do and usually... they do. Selfishness is the hallmark of a playa... with wreckless disregard for anyone else's feelings...simply because to them everyone is doing what they want to do, and thus if you get hurt it's your own fault. Sound familiar?

2. Usually after you realize that you are "being played"... a range of emotions begin to emerge. If you have had a lot of hurt and hardship already you may not even notice or care about the feelings you have. If you are genuinely a helpful person who cares for others this is particularly upsetting because you feel that you don't deserve it. Truth is noone does....unless of course they consciously choose it. Then they are accepting "all that comes with it"...Sound familiar? This is where a lot of honesty has to come in. No one else has to know that you feel humiliated or enraged or outraged or like being violent. This is all normal... Allow these feelings and be aware without taking any action. Meditate to calm yourself and bring about peace and openness in your heart. You are in control. You have free will and you do not have to choose to be treated in ways that you hate in order to have the loving relationship that you seek. Hopefully at this point you have realized that you don't. Step one has to happen which reveals the illusion and your fantasy of having the loving relationship that you believe you are suffering for...accepting the good with the bad. Sound familiar?
   
   You can not do this step at all until you master step one. If you are debating what you are reading right now and explaining to yourself why this is all wrong... you are still at the beginning of step one. But you can still at least read this until you are ready to have what you truly hope and need to have in your life. When you are ready to let go of your illusion and be steadfast in your TRUTH... Being true to yourself ...honest about your feelings, wants, needs, and hopes...and reflecting on where you truly are in the scheme of that ...then you will have a guideline for your next steps.

3. There are many reasons why people are playas... sometimes it is because they never did step one after they themselves had the experience of being played and playing the game helps them avoid taking real responsibility for their own life and being in control of their destiny. The reason someone is a playa is NOT RELEVANT. The reason that YOU are in the game IS relevant. Be self aware, and be true to that. The worse that can happen is that you are having a fulfilling life with a playa who is getting what he wants from you and making you happy...in which case...it would not be a game that you are seeking to end or change.

Tips & Warnings

• Playas do not like to take responsibility for themselves. If you are busy being true to yourself, it will repel a playa. They do not like selfish people, obviously because selfish people will not serve as a source of whatever they want. Being self aware is not selfish but your own well being is at the center. Practice self love, playas hate that...ever hear them complain about someone who "loves theirself too much" or "is conceited" or "thinks too much of theirself"...playas hate that, it leaves no room for the attention that they want to have. Make your needs a priority... and a playa will leave you and never return...but oddly will have a lot of respect for you..Maybe they won't even bother you at all. They might even admit you were too good for them.
• It is compelling to fall in love with role of rescuing a playa from their playin' ways... DANGEROUS...you will energize them and enable them to have more control of your actions...drawing your attention farther away from having your own needs fulfilled.
• It is a very emotional experience to let go of an illusion or fantasy that you may have invested in deeply for years or even a short time. Learn about the grieving process so that as you become awakened to your own TRUTH that you can understand the process that you will experience from leaving the illusion.
• Surround yourself with people who do genuinely care about you. The playa in your life is going to do their best to convince you that this is a mistake. This might be confusing at first because the playa in your life will try to convince you that their illusion is love and what is truly nourishing is not. You will need to do alot of meditation and being self aware. Give yourself time away from everyone ..especially the playa so that you can proceed with a truly clear view of who you are and what is and is not your TRUTH.
• It is typical for people who care about you to speak against your choices if they see you hurting. Be self aware, be true to your boundaries and to your own process.
• Namaste

[starsixtyninerb]

on 7/13/2009 true -that

[joanhaines]

on 4/23/2009 There's a lot of insight about self respect in this article.

[cstevens21]

on 1/5/2009 Great job with keeping this article neural and not making it all about men playas. It's not as common, but women can be playas, too. Thanks for the good advice.

[Desula]

on 12/26/2008 These are good tips on being "playa proof".

[WindyGale]

on 12/18/2008 Wisdom