How to Talk Like a Pirate

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By Ursula Anderson
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ARRR, matey!

September 19th is International Talk Like A Pirate Day, so everywhere you go, you will be hearing things like, "Yar, ye scurvy knave!" and "Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum." Join in the fun, and learn to talk like a pirate, too!

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

A sense of humor
No shame
A voice

Step 1

If you can make your voice sound a little gravelly, most pirate pronouncements sound better that way. Also, this is one day when terrible grammar is perfectly acceptable; using words like 'ain't' and conjugating verbs incorrectly is fine, such as saying "I wants" instead of "I want," for instance.
Step 2

Call people "Ye scurvy knave" as well as using other, similar, mildly insulting terminology. Say 'me' instead of 'my' and call your friend 'me bucko' or other, similar endearments, such as 'matey'.
Step 3

Use 'ye' instead of 'you', 'yon' instead of 'that' and 'pie-hole' instead of mouth, and 'be' instead of 'is'. Say, "Arrrr" or "Yaaar" frequently. Use as many archaic expressions as you can think of, and refer to your eye-patch and wooden leg in conversation, even if you don't have either one.

Tips & Warnings

Watch old pirate movies, such as "Treasure Island" and "The King's Pirate." Note the language of the character actors more than the stars, as the character actors use more colorful language.
Read "Fanny, being The True History of the Adventures of Fanny Hackabout-Jones" by Erica Jong, which is written all in pirate-appropriate language. There is even at least one chapter devoted entirely to pirates!
Just because you are talking like a pirate doesn't mean you should act like one. Pirates were, and are, in general, dangerous sociopathic thieves and murderers. We like how they talk, not how they behave.